Tales from the wedding – 2

Click here for "Tale from the wedding - 1"

The timing of the trip back to in-laws place was a near perfect disaster recipe. Let’s just say, being married for almost 5 yrs and having no children to show off, isn’t exactly a very exciting combination, for I knew the kind of looks and sneers I would get.

So the 5^th wedding anniversary was precisely 2 days before the BILs wedding date, which meant that all relatives had safely landed and the celebrations had begun. The spouse made me cut a huge huge cake with a big “happy 5^th” written on top of it. So memories were refreshed for even those relatives who had forgotten about it.

And thus began the lecture marathon from all and sundry and mostly those who matter little. From telling me how I was messing up with my body, to blaming me for coming in the nature’s desired path and then going on and saying how I was depriving the parent in-laws of a “grand son”. Phew. I did remain calm all through. Coz it was more important to ensure that the wedding happened properly. And frankly I was in no mood of altercation over this non issue. In these 5 years I have moved on from being bothered about this. It’s our life and our baby and we will have it when we want it. Nothing else matters.

This post is not about “others advising me on having children”. I am sure a lot of Indian married women have heard enough and more about this. What is rather intriguing is how consistent each of those uncles and aunties were in blessing me with a “SON”.  Absolutely no two ways about it. Each and every blessing that I received was for a son. I mean bless me with a healthy baby; won’t that be a wiser thing to do?

Finally I did retaliate, more from the intention to irritate this old neighbor. The moment she said “God bless you with a son very soon”, I did ask her “why son why not a daughter?” And I could see her visibly flushed. Pink in cheeks, she said, that a daughter can happen later but first born should be a son.  I glared at her against my better judgment, but she got the message, mumbled something and left. It was actually quite funny to see this effect my words had on this woman. I guess it was a first for her.

Now don’t confuse me with a pseudo feminist.  I am no man hater. But I have no preference when it comes to children. When we decide to go in for a baby, I will only hope and pray for a healthy child .  Nothing wrong in wishing those, right? 

The hair woes continue

My hair woes continue. I anyways have very little left and at the rate with which I am experimenting I will soon have none left. But the itch to do something or the other with my hair keeps coming back every now and then.

So this weekend, almost impulsively, I found myself at the Salon, with the intention to get my hair colored. The stylist totally sweet talked me in first getting a haircut. So I agreed. Not that it’s too much of a new hairstyle, just correcting the length and adding some more layers.

Besides, the hairstylist refused to believe that I was in Indian. She thought I looked like a Mexican, and I seriously don’t know if I should be happy or sad about it. In her opinion “all Indians” are primarily “dark and quite plain looking” and all my efforts to explain that we Indians came in all kind of skin color had no effect on her. So at the end of the 3 hour ordeal, she still thought I was a Mexican and lying about my identity.

Anyways, coming back to the hair thing, so I get a haircut and then we move on to the coloring bit. And yet another brainwave and I decide to get some highlights as well. So base color is a shade of brown with lots and lots of golden highlights thrown in.

I thought it looked chic, till I came to office, where no one actually noticed it!! How do you feel when you spend a fortune on a haircut, a new hair color & highlights and your friends in office don’t even notice it?? Yeah, spare me, but I don’t really feel too good about it!

Cheese Ravioli, a la Aman style!

So the husband goes to this fine dine, super expensive, super exclusive, high nosed, upscale, (you get the drift, right) Italian Restaurant. And after a meticulous look at the menu and a chat with the head chef, orders Cheese and Spinach Ravioli in Pesto sauce as entrée.

After much wait the dish finally arrives. All decked up, served in the most exquisite fashion. One bite, and he asks the chef to get him some black pepper. Another bite and some tobasco sauce is ordered. Yet another and some red chili flakes. And then some vinegar and then some dry herbs.

Yeah, a small kitchen was established right on the table. The chef died of embarrassment, I have a feeling he quit his profession too, and as for me, I died laughing, and that precisely is the reason we don’t have any pictures!

CSAAM April 2011 | Speak up – That’s the least your child deserves.

Children are like little bundles of innocence and miracle. They are meant to be nurtured and cared for. They deserve every ounce of protection that parents can provide. Birth of a child is considered as one of the most joyous occasions in the life of an individual. Then why do the same individuals fail to protect their cherished child? Why is it that the society and appearances become more important than insuring justice for your child?

Whether we accept it or not, whether we talk about it or not, the fact remains that more than 50% children have been sexual abused. This happens across sections of societies and to both girls and boys.

Confrontation is not easy for most people. It requires grit to break shackles and speak up. But how can people not confront the person who has harmed their own children. Why is it that when it comes to dealing with the abuser of their own child, these parents decide to remain silent.

The social stigma has long been associated with the victim. The burden of shame has long been on the tender shoulder of the abused. The families in most cases ignore the signs and even if they notice they try and hush the matter. The first reaction in most cases is to take no notice of it, and even when noticed, more often than not, the next reaction is of disbelief. 

And then the ever prevalent belief that something like this will not happen to “us and our children”. Of course, no one likes to live in constant fear and paranoia. But isn’t shutting eyes an extremely lame thing to do?

Things need to change and change begins with you. There frankly is no more space left under the carpet now. Too much of hushing and shoving has happened. Time we start accepting and talking about it.

Educating, discussing about CSA and bringing it out of the closet are the initial steps towards prevention. Only if the child knows what is right and what is wrong will he/she alert parents. Instilling confidence and believing the child is the next step. And god forbid if something happens; there should be absolutely no question about punishing the abuser. For your own conscience and for your child. How else will you be able to look into those eyes ever again without feeling guilty?

Thinking back, I realize how protective my parents always were. Without making my sister and me a mistrustful bunch of kids, they always ensured that we were under the right and the watchful eyes. 

They told us what was right and wrong and we knew they would trust us if at all something like this happened. 

Children deserve a happy and a safe childhood. And no matter what we as adults have to provide it. 

Of Phuket and more

Phuket was amazing!! 3 days of undefined luxury, relaxation and bliss.

And all that we did was, lie in the pool or lounge beside it and sip on some pretty looking drinks. And then hit the beach and do pretty much the same. Throw in some wonderful Thai massages and some exotic food. Not to forget the carefree driving around the beach town.

What more can a girl ask for? Nothing, absolutely nothing. The villa we stayed in Marriot was to die for. The bath alone was bigger than my current bedroom in Singapore! Sigh. So a super hit holiday, a beautiful tan and the wait begins for the next one. And I have a feeling it will be Bali this time.

In another news, we are moving into a new house next week. The current one was a bit small for our liking. Moving into this house was an ill informed and quick decision but considering it was taken in the first week of moving to Singapore, we didn’t do too badly. The new one is nice, pretty and spacious. A little far from office, but manageable. So we broke our contract midyear, paid a penalty, but never mind, we got a place we like.

Also, most of you must be aware of the work we are doing around creating awareness on Child Sexual Abuse.  Do visit the blog and spread awareness by talkin about it. All the details are in here.  

And to help spread the word, Blogadda published this article - http://blog.blogadda.com/2011/04/08/child-sexual-abuse-awareness-month

Also, DNA did a article on CSA –
Online – http://www.dnaindia.com/lifestyle/report_its-time-to-protect-the-children_1529628

Print (page 7)- http://epaper.dnaindia.com/dnabangalore/epapermain.aspx?queryed=9&username=&useremailid=&parenteditioncode=9&eddate=4%2f8%2f2011

When History was being written

We were right there screaming our lungs out. When MSD hit that 6, I almost collapsed in joy. That moment will remain one of the most proud moments in my life for a long long time to come.

There was only one feeling, one wish and one prayer – Win this cup Team India, you all owe it to Sachin. It was for Sachin that I prayed and prayed for India to win. It’s not for nothing that we call him god.

Many many years down the line, I will tell my grandkids, I saw god, and I saw history being created.

Sitting thousands of miles away from home didn’t dampen our spirits neither did it make the victory taste any less sweet. Aman and I decided to watch the match in a pub and that by far was one of the better decisions we made. We reached this pub on Robertson Quay bang on time. The atmosphere was electrifying. Some 500 plus enthusiastic cricket fanatics were there, all geared up to take team to victory.  Flags, painted faces, slogan chanting, we did all that and more. To give us company were about 20 Sri Lankan supports as well. And that added to the euphoria of winning.

We cheered each run saved, each wicket that fell and each maiden over that was bowled. And then we cheered each shot, each boundary! We had our heart breaking moments when Sehwag and Sachin got out. And we danced when MSD bashed the Lankan bowlers.

What a match and what a victory, a moment that brought the entire country together. The strangers at that pub were no longer strangers when the match got over. With the dancing, screaming, hugging, hi-fi’s all around I forgot I was in Singapore!!

And yes I cried when the final 6 was hit, I cried when Sachin was carried on the shoulder, I cried when they lifted the cup.  Loved the words by Virat Kohli - “Sachin has carried the burden of the nation for 21 years. It's only fair we carry him now” Summed up the whole thing beautifully.

It indeed was one of the most cherishable moments. And will remain etched forever! Mighty proud of the Team. And this one was for Sachin. And this one was for Dad, Mom and Neha who wanted India to win more than anything else.