So when is the right time baby

I am confused.

Do bells ring? Or is it the voice inside? Or is it the bank statement? Or is it those relatives? Or will I dream of it one fine night?

Now you are confused too, right? Well I am talking about the right time. The right time to become a parent? How will I know?

Having been married for more than 3 and half years doesn’t serve the occasion too well either. Polite questionings have long been replaced by direct and often rude enquiries from all sorts of relatives. From ducking the questions, to giving polite replies to being rude, I have been there and done that.We were never the ones to base our decisions on what some vague aunty suggested so these inquisitive relatives could very well be kept aside.

But again, how do we know we are mentally ready to for a baby? Living the kind of lives we do, where there is no time for sleep, where careers rule our lives, where we pack our bags and leave for a trip impromptu, where everything happens without a plan. So how will we know if we are ready for the change? The only way to know it is to experience it. And what if we don’t like it then?

Could my feeling very happy when a friend’s 3 years old son decides to sit on my lap be taken as an indication? Does it mean anything when I beam at seeing those little ones smile at me? Or the fact that these days I invariable end up picking up and baby talk to some little one at the mall? This is all a very new phenomenon. I was not the types who run after children.

But again, I don’t think this new change can be taken as a cue. So then how will I ever know?

When we got married we thought we would be ready to have a child in 2 years time. After all 2 years seemed enough to settle down. It’s been 3 and half years and we are still as naive about the whole thing.

Looks like I am waiting for some divine intervention. Maybe I should consult a palmist or an astrologer. So all you parents out there, how did you know that the time indeed was right? Do any of you have regrets?

Virtual meets the Real

And so it happened. Without too much planning. Without going to and fro. One ping, followed by one suggestion on place and time. And lo behold, we met.

Who you may ask – our very own Monika, I say. And what a meeting it was. It was a weekday so I rushed straight from office. And was there dot on time, only to see the Red Cedia parked already. I obviously had no issues in spotting her in the crowded coffee shop. We hugged as if we were some long lost friends catching up over cup of coffee. And conversation just flew. Not even for a second there was an uncomfortable silence. Not even for a second were we stuck on what to say next. Least to say, it was delightful. The first peek at the watch shocked me no end. 2 hours had gone by and we hadn’t realized.

After meeting her yesterday, I am still wondering why it took so long. I should have met her ages back.

This was the first time I had met someone from the Blog World. I had major plans of meeting Mampi and Pinku when I had ventured to Delhi and Punjab earlier this year and unfortunately no plans materialized, thanks to the exhaustive wedding preparations from which I couldn’t pull myself away even for a few hours. I even planned meeting Mumbai Diva when I was in Bombay in May but even that didn’t work due to last minute flight changes.

Thinking about 10 years back, I would have been so closed on interacting with strangers. I would have died before following someone I didn’t know (reference to twitter). Chat and emails to people I haven’t met or didn’t know would be out of question. But now I see myself so open to these things. When I started blogging I hardly did interact with anyone. I used to sms Aman and my friend Anu and would tell them that the blog has been updated and that they should go read it. Then, almost a year back things changed, not sure how, but yeah I started opening up as a blogger. And now there are these real people most of whom I didn’t know before they left that comment or before I stumbled into their spaces. This is a world in itself and it’s a delightful place.

I was a Fish in my last birth

Let me introduce you to my latest love of the purely self indulgent nature. This new found love has overtaken my life completely. You might have noticed the absence from the blog. Reading as well as writing. This time though I am not complaining.

So yes coming back to my latest fascination – its swimming. Yeah, bring it on. But first a bit of history.

Now, yours truly has never been scared of water, being a Cancerian, I guess, has nothing to do with it.

Remember I mentioned that we had moved to this fantastic new place earlier this year? So the same place along with being the incredible place it is also boasts of this awesome swimming pool. First look and I was rearing to go, there was only a slight hitch – I didn’t know how to swim. I did some frantic running around the apartment to find out if they have any plans of getting a coach but I was told no such thing was happening for quite some time. Subsequently one fine evening, when the pool looked way too inviting I decided to jump. I was of course accompanied by a friend who knew how to swim, quite well. Some emotional atyachar later she agreed to teach me. 2 days of coaching is what I got from her. And then as always work overtook my life and swimming was forgotten.

Then about 3 weeks back, the urge to jump into the pool came back. This time I had dear friend, who now also happens to be my neighbor, for company. Since then I have gone for a swim each day (ok, I did miss twice) irrespective of what time I get back home and in-spite of how cold and windy the weather is. I don’t remember when was the last time I got so crazy about doing something. I am rather proud of myself as 2 days of coaching and another 2 days of splash splash, and lo behold, I know how to swim.

Yes I picked up the trick, and I am able to swim rather well now. Freestyle and backward both. And yes I am able to finish vertical laps as well, about 10 – 15 of them.

The way I feel when in water is nothing less than euphoric. Floating backwards, staring at the stars with cool breeze on my face. Ecstasy!! There is this constant chlorine smell in my nose. As evening approaches I start getting restless, itching to get away from everything and go to the pool. Usually the earliest I land up there is like 9ish. And once in I am the happiest. It’s magical. I wonder how I stayed away from water for so long!! It’s a blessing that I have K for company who if not more is at least as passionate about swimming. Aman too joins in but mostly only on weekends.

So right now it’s going great. For a change I am shutting my laptop and heading to the pool each day. That will explain the lack of new posts. This new obsession has earned me quite a few new nicknames as well which I will not divulge for obvious reasons.

So that was about my latest crush, do you too have one?

Of Birthday, Books and the time went by:

Last week was such a glorious one for the mighty me had her birthday on the 14th and since it was a weekday, the better half went all that way to ensure that festivities weren’t any less.

He started bestowing me with gifts much in advance. Shopping for Books and Footwear followed. Sunday breakfast at Koshy’s. Another round of shopping at Fab India. Mid night cake cutting in a candle lit balcony. Another round of cake cutting in office, followed by a sumptuous lunch treat in La Casa. Evening was spent partying at home. A small group of good friends, music, food, bubbly - you know the essentials. Aman took an off while I had to slog it out at work. His premise – “it’s my wife’s birthday and I want to have fun”. Although most part of his day too was spent in preparations for evening.
And life did look quite rosy. The week was made even more beautiful with some added shopping escapades with some fabulous dinners. Thanks Aman for making it so lovely.

I have been procrastinating about writing for way to long now. And thanks to this new addiction called twitter, blog has taken a back seat. So for all those who have been missing me, follow me here on twitter.

Coming to Books:
Among finishing other books I also managed to read Bringing up Vasu, by Parul Sharma. I usually don’t do reviews but this one time I do want to write a bit about this one solely because Parul is the first person I know who has a book to her name :). I have been reading her blog for a few months now and I feel I owe this to her.

Bringing up Vasu is a very good first time effort. The blurb of the book does full justice in telling the reader what to expect.
Let’s first talk about what I didn’t like and then move to what I loved about the book. It’s nice to end at positive note you see.

Firstly for a non mum like me there is just too much poop in the first half of the book. While I am sure that, the poop is the reality of life and sooner or later even I will have to face it, somehow reading about it didn’t excite me all that much.
Secondly, at some and I insist only at some instances the humor was a tad bit forced.

Leaving these 2 things aside the book is a very nice light read, for mums as well as non mums who might some day decide to become one. The book is funny and energetic. It has its share of moments that tug at your heart, like when the protagonist decides to take up a assignment and leave her new born in the hands of maid. Her dilemma, her confusion and her paranoia, I am quite sure all working mothers go through it. The book is about her aspirations to be this cool super mom which again, I think, a lot of women would want to be. The book is about how she wants the best and only the best for her son.
This book is also a must read for men who have these splendid notions that children are all hunky dorky and fun to be with. I do plan to force Aman to read it as well.

There are these letters that the mum has written to her son on completion of each quarter and they are an absolute delight to read. Parul ends the book in a manner which tells me that a sequel is in the offering. This genre of Indian writing is new, as I haven’t come across a book on similar lines.
Parul – kudos to you for pulling this off. I am sure we can wait for more.

http://orangeicecandy.blogspot.com/2009/07/bloggings-better-thannot.html

2 Sisters and no Brother, God be with your parents.

Among the innumerable happy and carefree memories I have of my childhood there is also one gloomy memory that is quite engraved into my mind.

Having been brought up in a small town like Ranchi has had its own share of discomforts. Most of it, I never experienced. Thanks to the warm and loving family I have, Neha and me have had a very protected, lighthearted, affectionate and independent upbringing.

Coming to the point of this post, the most common childhood question I have been asked by every adult I met for the first time is “How many brothers and sisters you have”, my reply would be “I have a younger sister”. My response had always been followed by a quick “what? No brother, oh no, poor parents, 2 girls to marry off”
The adult could be anyone – friend’s parents, new neighbors, some vague acquaintances and sometime some god forsaken relatives. But the line of questioning was always similar.
Not only me, even my younger sister Neha has faced a lot of these. This one question followed by a quick dismissal and then the pity has made me go through a gamut of emotions. From the initial confusion to irritation to anger to rage to the ultimate indifference. If anything this probing left me a little more determined to make a mark.

This was outside. At home it was a very different scene. Our little family was picture perfect. Neither mom nor dad ever seem perturbed that they had only 2 daughters and no sons. This fact never bothered them. In fact in more occasions than one I had seen them shut people up when they started the usual course of “Oh Mr/Mrs Bhatia, but why didn’t you try for a third child, didn’t you feel a need for a son?”

So when we weren’t bothered why were others? When my mom was happy with 2 girls, when my dad was proud of his 2 daughters, when neither Neha nor I felt the need of having a brother, why was the society so concerned?

Today, both of us are doing well. I am well educated, have a good career and am poised to do even better. I am financially independent and happy in life. Neha is all set to follow suit, having just completed her MBA. How is it any different from a family which had 2 sons? Now the same old folks come and congratulate my parents on the having the proverbial “well brought up children”.

Why I say this today is because I saw the familiar story unfold in front of my eyes. I thought the world had changed. But be in the 1989 or the 2009, be it Ranchi or Bangalore, something’s remain unchanged. In the play ground of my apartment, I saw a 5 year old subjected to the same line of questioning. The little one, who had an infant sister, was visibly unsure of what she had said that had made the aunty so abject, simply shrugged and went off. I smiled, because I saw yet another independent and confident lady in the making.

Of Swine Flu

How could I forget writing about this, damn me. It’s totally outdated now but like heck I need to write it. So please bear with me.

Some of you know that I went to Sydney this May. I was there for about a week. My return flight was via Bangkok and instead of coming straight to Bangalore I had to change my flight at Mumbai.

Now there have been confirmed cases of Swine Flu in Australia. Considering I was coming back from there I was sure there will be some major delay at Mumbai Airport in order to do a check up. Add to it the fact that I had a stop over at Bangkok too, which also had had a few cases.

Reality how ever was quite different. At Mumbai International airport I was given a form which had a few random questions like - have I been to a infected country, did I come across someone who has swine flu, do I have fever and cold etc. barring the 1st one I answered no to all.
After submitting the form the guard on duty scanned me up and down and then declared me healthy. Just like that. I was authorized safe to roam about the city. That took my goat. What if I really had the virus? Wasn’t a through check needed, what if I hadn’t said the truth? Was my saying so enough to let me go?

This was back in May; I hear that situation is better now. Not sure as my experience was quite vague. Anyone else who has had some similar experiences?

June Update

It’s been a hectic and busy month. Work showed no respite, it never does, I guess its time I should stop hoping too.

Aman’s side of the family came visiting. And like good hosts we packed them all and took them to Coorg. (Pics are up on FB and Orkut, one on the header up there). Lush, green and raining. The heat tortured souls from North of the country couldn’t have asked for anything more. We stayed in the interiors of Coorg, in the midst of the coffee plantations. Lovely food, awesome weather and the most scenic surroundings. It was picture perfect.

We also did a quick 2 day trip to Chennai. For the uninitiated, the Bangalore – Chennai highway is splendid, be it the road or the landscaping. Parts of it are quite a delight. Chennai was horrible. I am sure the city is nice, but the weather was pathetic, and that for me is such a put off. For that reason I truly couldn’t enjoy it. It was sticky and humid and hot. You know the kinds where your own hair and skin irritate you.

For the good deed of the month – I forgo my official tour to Singapore to be with Aman’s side of the family. Now isn’t he lucky to be married to me?

For the highlight of the month – Younger sister has finally moved to Bangalore, bag and baggage. If you remember I was upset a while back and this was the reason. But now she is here and I couldn’t have been happier.

And yes, for the achievement of the month, I have learnt swimming. As in I have moved ahead from just the playful splash splash. I still have a long way to go, but who says I can’t rejoice small achievements.

I have missed blogging and reason being the lack of time. I have also missed reading a lot of your blogs, but I am doing the catching up. Bear with me all.

Some gentleman I must say

After my previous experience with Sakaal Times printing my blog post without permission, even small gestures of asking permission mean a lot.

I got a mail the other day from this guy called George. He runs a website called http://www.age-better.com/. He was in the process of writing a review of this restaurant called Grasshopper in Bangalore that I so love. I had written about it a long time back.

He wanted to refer my blog url as part of his article and also use the picture. He could have done it and I wouldn’t have even realized. But no Sir, the guy duly wrote asking me if he could use my review. Of course I agreed. Feeling nice about his nicety.