Thursday, February 24, 2011

And I am now angry.

People are like mirrors. When I look at someone, I see only what I want to see. I have my pre conceived notions and I notice only those aspects which I want to see. This was true for me like when I was in my early teens or something!!! But isn’t any more. Because I have grown up and matured and to a far extent stopped being judgmental as well.

Unfortunately, you are where I left you a decade back. And I do pity you for it. Because you have no idea how childish your attitude is and how silly it makes you look. You had the making of an intelligent human being but I guess you lost out somewhere along the way.

I know you come around here reading my blog. And my thoughts rub you the wrong way.  Because, in my happiness you don’t see happiness, you see my insecurity, which by the way doesn’t exist. In my experiences you see “show-off”, in my annoyances you see “contempt”. My life really is quite happy. So please give up on being judgmental about it.

There is only one message I have for you – Grow up. I have been ignoring you for past many years, and will continue to do so after this one burst. I write this today because I feel sad for you. And truly, we were good friends once upon a time, and I thought I would do you one last favor! 

Why have I been crying?

Something really strange has been happening to me lately. Don’t know how or when, but suddenly I see myself transformed into this fat round gooey mass of emotions. It’s like I am brimming with sentiments. And even a slight nudge is enough to get me all teary eyed. It’s not that I am cold hearted otherwise. But this is stretching it a bit too far.

Like for example the other day I caught myself crying while watching Patiala House. Now, who in its sane mind would do that?? I have been crying when friends have announced pregnancies, which by the way, seems like a national phenomenon!!

Yesterday, Massi put up pictures of a recent family function on FB and I had a lump in my throat watching the family together.  And when my Dad’s and his brothers picture came up I cried some bucketful, and mind you this is when I was with dad exactly 15 days back? These are but a few examples and I am walking around with an eternal lump in my throat and dew in my eyes.
Papa (in Black), with Chachu and Bade Papa

So nostalgia is at an all time high. It looks to me like a very bad case of PMSing or a major after effect of this India trip. Which by the way rocked in more ways that I can ever list out? The bonding with Aman’s side of the family went up by a few notches, and this when I am already quite close to all of them, is quite commendable. I so feel a part of the clan. The way they have all gone out of their way to accept me is just a bit unbelievable. I have felt this all along, but now that I have completed 5 yrs of being married, I can safely say it aloud as well. Touch wood!

Coming back to the emotional bit, this song is also doing its trick. Not that I am boy or ever studied in Punjab or did most of the things the singer talks about.  So hormones acting up. Any remedies people?