The White Rain

Are you still coming here to read me?

2011-05-25T14:29:00.000+05:30

Is it, is it?? ah, well, I have moved to Wordpress, click here to visit my new home
Update your blogrolls, book mark my new page, subscribe on reader or email, do whatever you wish, but please don't abandon me!
For records, this is the new url - http://thewhiterain.wordpress.com/

We have moved to word press - http://thewhiterain.wordpress.com/

2011-05-14T12:40:00.000+05:30

Yes we have, because we were really fed up of blogger. Please continue to visit us - http://thewhiterain.wordpress.com/

We are still trying to understand how WP works. Kind people have offered help. Writing will continue there.

Come over to http://thewhiterain.wordpress.com/ and say a Hi to me!!!

Thanks my lovelies!

Do it yourself – Post 9

2011-05-12T20:26:00.000+05:30

Now now, before your dirty mind wanders far, please to remember that this is a family blog and I refrain for making comments that will have some people jumping.

What I am talking here is the latest shoe rack we picked from Ikea. All of 89 dollars, this pretty thing came in a compact packing. The idea was to assemble it yourself. And the last time I did something vaguely constructive was back in school were we had a compulsory 1 hour of SUPW (Socially Useful Productive work) every week. On that note, do children these days have SUPW??

Anyways, so we bought this thing home with the intention of creating something out of some random pieces. I for one was totally excited and kicked by the idea and my constant blabbering was infectious enough for Aman too. Or at least he pretended. It’s another story that this assembly had to wait till the following weekend.

At the onset it seemed a little difficult, but once on it, we had so much fun doing it. It was the perfect team building exercise for a couple. We strategized, recognized quickly what both of us were good at and accordingly worked (trust me to make a perfect domestic activity sound like something you do in a boardroom!!)

And in the process had we some good laughs as well. This was an enjoyable change for someone who is used to having hired help and delivery guys do such things. I mean I don’t think we have ever taken the pain to hammer a random nail into the wall, leave alone assembling a chest of drawers.

So here is my suggestion for some perfect couple time which is fun, novel and great for bonding. Go go, pick up a DIY shoe rack from Ikea.

This is the result of our effort, ah the sweet joys of love!

What do you do when woman don’t value themselves – Post 8

2011-05-11T14:26:00.000+05:30

I was talking to a friend the other day and then I read this post by Roop. Let’s first talk about the friend.

I think I know her since we were in class 4 or 5. She is/was smart, intelligent and someone with a sense of purpose in life. I would also call her decently ambitious. Let’s just say she was like any other regular girl with a regular life and regular aspirations. And then she fell in love with this guy; a couple of years older to her, from an affluent business family and belonging to a different religion. She was all of 18-19 then. With much resolve and after a lot of protest they got married. All this happened a decade back. She quit her studies and got settled in the life of a home maker. I don’t think she gave all this too much thought then for she was finally getting married to someone she loved and was more than thankful that the parents and in-laws who had first protested had then finally agreed.

Why I told you this story was to set some context. This girl went on to produce 3 children in that last 10 years. First 2 were daughters and therefore she had a third one too, which, much to her liking and to the joy of her mother in law and husband was a boy.

Cut to present – her husband is hardly ever home, is into alcohol to the extent of being called an alcoholic and doesn’t do much work (read: is living off the family money). Her MIL is sort of a tyrant, running and ruling the household. My friend has no social life. And is at times subjected to “a bit of physical abuse” (these are her own words). She hardly ever gets to meet her parents in spite of the fact that they stay in the same city.

Obviously all this hurts me, for I still remember the girl she was when we were still in school. But what pains me more is her total resignation to her situation. She justifies her MIL’s behavior by saying that the lady has accepted a girl from a different religion into the family and that she will always be thankful for that, come what may. When I asked her about the domestic violence bit, she justified that too saying that she calls such behavior upon herself by arguing and fighting with her husband. And lastly, she justified the need to have a son too – she feels she owed it to the family to give them an heir. If her 3^rd born was a daughter she would have gone for a 4^th one as well.

Here is a girl, perfectly normal, who is enduring all the pains and troubles, because she believes that she deserves it. She suffers at the hands of this belief that is deeply engraved in her mind. A good DIL is one who never answers back, asks permission, thinks more about her in-law than her own parents, has no opinion etc. The parents feel proud to have brought up a daughter who listens to everything her husband and in-laws say. They are happy that she, with her “obedient and polite” behavior, has washed off the stigma of marrying outside the cast and has been totally accepted by her in-laws family.

So who is at fault here? For me it is my friend as much as her family. It is a case of a woman who has subjected herself to such behavior by choice. She suffers but in silence. She thinks it’s wrong to complain. She is making the marriage work. She has been at it for 10 years and will continue doing it till she breathes her last. I have no words. I feel bad for her but I also know that this is the choice she has made. Maybe someday she will realize her worth and maybe someday she will stand for herself. Maybe…

Diamonds, anyone?? Post 7

2011-05-10T20:23:00.001+05:30

I don’t fail to surprise myself every now and then. Is it that I evolve or is it that I change? Or worse still, is it that I get influenced? I don’t know, but whatever it is, it does make me eat my words.

I have never been a jewelry person. Growing up years in a strict convent school meant small studs or an earring, that’s about it. In college it was mostly a thin gold chain and a much understated finger ring, that too because my grandmother insisted on buying it for me and then I wore it out of love.

What I liked and enjoyed was silver jewelry which my mom firmly believed was an absolute waste.

Even when marriage was fixed I was least bothered about what mom was doing in regards to my wedding jewelry. I did tell not to waste much money on it but I think that suggestion fell on very deaf ears. She wanted me to come home from Bangalore to select my own jewelry but neither had I the time nor the inclination. Ditto for my MIL, for even she wanted me to come home to select my jewelry. But I kindly excused myself. So basically I had no role to play in buying or selecting the jewelry I am most likely stuck for the rest of my life. So that was my interest level and I did make my opinion quite clear to all and sundry in as verbal a manner as it fits a bride!!

But then something happened like about 2 years back and suddenly I was enlightened and mesmerized by the world of jewelry and precious metals. Unexpectedly, from being a boho who loved her silver I was keenly looking at diamonds. That was my initiation into the world of buying and storing jewelry. That was when I dragged my MIL to the bank locker to have a look at what all I had. And least to say, I was floored. I had no idea what pretty stuff both she and my mom had given me for my wedding.

I still don’t wear it on regular basis but yes I have started to plan my annual buys. And I do look for opportunities to pick some piece or the other every now and then. I never thought I would be “into” jewelry, but I guess I was wrong. Now I can talk about it, I understand its value and enjoy it. Is this too part of growing up? Not sure, but as of now I am surely enjoying it!!

And then the mighty fall – Post 6

2011-05-09T15:19:00.000+05:30

What a day this has been. First I overslept and when I woke up, I did with so much difficulty. Monday was here and work was screaming at me. Given a choice I would have slept all day, that’s how tired I felt. But such choices aren’t there. So I dragged myself out of the bed to get ready for work. And to make things seem a bit better I dressed with care and wore one of my favorite top and skirt and paired them with the latest stilettos I had picked up last week.

And then it happened while returning to office post lunch. I missed a step and before I could realize I was on all fours sprawled on the pavement. The wallet had flown to one corner and blackberry was whimpering at another. Thankfully Aman was with me but even he couldn’t save my mighty fall. My stockings tore, my knee was bleeding and so was my elbow. My shoe broke and my skirt has a bad mark. It was embarrassing beyond words. I have told you about my penchant for falling before. And we did it again. A dozen odd people gathered around and I couldn’t even cry properly.

Gosh, terrible. Post some quick first aid, Aman dumped me in a taxi and sent me home. I think I will be rendered immobile for a couple of days. Sigh. Well at least one good thing happened with this fall – I got some dope to write a random post!!

Simpy, our maid’s daughter – Post 5

2011-05-08T20:57:00.002+05:30

Back home in Kapurthala (where Aman’s parents live) we have a part time maid. Her story is no different from any of the hundreds of other maids. She is from Bihar and when poverty got the better of them, she along with her husband came to Punjab. While she works in multiple houses through the day, he squanders his time by gambling and drinking and then beating wife and children.

Among other children she has a daughter Simpy. When Aman and I got married, Simpy was a little girl of around 10 years. I remember her distinctly because of her energy and her smile. She didn’t know how old she was, just estimation. Simpy use to come home with her mom. She was pretty excited by the idea of a new bride coming into the house.

I have seen her grow a little older at each of my annual visit to Kapurthala. Last year, when I went to kapurthala my MIL told me that Simpy's marriage had been fixed. I was a little shocked considering she wouldn’t be more than 14 years. We tried talking to Simpy’s mother but to no avail. She was very happy because the groom was from their community, had a fruit stall and was well settled. She was convinced that he was a good match for her daughter. She did ensure us that this marriage was just to ensure that the children don’t wander and get lured. The idea was that even after marriage Simpy would still stay with her parents. She would only move to her in-laws house after 3-4 years when she was older and matured. (Reference here is to the practice of Gauna where the marriage is consummated after several years of the actual ceremony)

Well, when I went to Kapurthala this February I was beyond my wits when I saw Simpy. She hadn’t been coming home with her mother and with all the wedding preparations even I had completely forgotten about her. Finally when I saw her I was stunned. She was pregnant, in less than a year of her marriage. At 15 odd years, she was an expectant mother. Just looking at her broke my heart in thousand pieces. This girl-woman suddenly looked all coy and embarrassed. She will have her baby anytime now.

We spoke a lot about CSA all of last month. What do we call something like this? When will this stop? Is anyone doing anything about it?

Nothing like some retail therapy – Post 4

2011-05-07T21:26:00.002+05:30

Ain’t it? And yesterday was super. After all summer is here and a girl needs to shop with the change in weather! Yeah, so what it the weather hardly changes in Singapore and so what it is as hot and humid as ever.

The wardrobe needs a bit of revamping every now and then, and this time it was Zara that made me very happy. Their latest summer line is something that needs a dekho. If you happen to be in Singapore do peep in.

And among other things, I did find the black handbag which I had been looking for a while now. Picked one from Guess and I say its a steal.

There you go, a rather badly clicked picture, thanks to BB! But you do get the idea :)

For me shopping does work as a stress buster, and it doesn’t matter for whom I am buying stuff. Just the act of buying makes me feel better. Yeah I am crazy like that. What about you? Do you love to shop?

Tales from the wedding – 3 | Post 3

2011-05-06T15:58:00.001+05:30

Let’s talk about food, coz we love it, so much so that on most days we wake up to have breakfast. And while having breakfast we discuss the plans for Lunch and Dinner and the numerous in between eats. Are you all like this too? Or are we a mad household.

So for people who are obsessive about food on a regular basis, Punjab can be the most lethal place to be. That too in the hands of dotting parents and in-laws who always think that you have lost more weight from the last time they saw you. Parents come with special eyesight I guess, one which enables them to shed off the “oh-so-prominent” kilos from their children.

This last trip was no different. Add to it the magic of the wedding and you can guess what I am talking about. Each meal was an elaborate affair with starters and dessert thrown in. There is no doubt that Punjbi food is delicious and I think I have finally cracked the code as well. It’s that divine ingredient called BUTTER or its close cousin GHEE, which are added to each and every dish in no small quantity. The more liberal you are with the usage, the better the outcome will be. Sigh!!

Our family cook/halwai – Mr Desa, a tiny, thin man with a nerve of steel was commissioned with the job of preparing each and every meal mostly breakfast and lunches since dinners were at the venues where functions were happening. Me and MIL sat down and prepared this elaborate menu for each day of the festivity. This was duly passed on to Mr Desa so he could arrange for the ingredients.

I was fascinated, least to say, to see him at work. What multitasking, what organizing capabilities and what meticulous working manner. He could put any of those highly paid MBA’s to shame. With 2 helpers, he rocked the show and prepared food for anywhere between 50 to 100 people, meal after meal, bang on time, served with panache and tasting absolutely delightful.

Both Aman and I came back with additions of more than a few shameless kilos. Cruel cruel life this is, I tell you. So while I do realize the mounting weight and while I do procrastinate about doing something about it, the food and my love for it grows and grows!

Life in Singapore – Let’s talk about cabs and cab drivers | Post 2

2011-05-05T11:05:00.002+05:30

With this blogging marathon, when I write a post every day, I would also try and cover certain aspects of my life here in Singapore. Nothing too scholarly, just a bit of what I observe and infer.

This island of Singapore amazes me in more ways than I can list. With a total land area of just about 700 km² it is one of the smallest Asian countries. It’s just a tiny dot on the map. But it still has about 26000 taxis on road at any point of time. And best way to know a city is to talk to its taxi drivers. The insights they will give you about a place will be far deeper than anyone else.

This morning I had another very interesting conversation with the taxi driver while coming to office. He told me that the taxi drivers were the most “non-preferred” category of prospective grooms in Singapore. It was very difficult to find wives for cab drivers. Reason being that taxi drivers were considered rude and arrogant from Singapore standards. Now that sounds totally incredulous to an Indian and more importantly to someone who has lived in Bangalore for 5 years. Because, we know a rude taxi driver when we see one. These Singaporeans cab drivers are by far calmer and better mannered than their counterparts in most countries.

But yes, compared to other Singaporeans they might be considered arrogant. You know, Singapore is a much pampered society. They follow their rules and they listen to their government. And in return they live a life which is envied by many others. The quality of life here I guess is among the top five globally, the crime rate second only to New Zealand. This kind of comfort living has made the citizens very matter of fact. To quote the cab driver “We Singaporeans behave like Robots”

And maybe this is why the cab guys are considered rude. You tell them to go straight and they will, but if you change your mind mid way and ask them to pull over, they will grumble. Everything is relative. And these folks who might appear delightful to us Indians are not the most sought after category locally.

It’s time for the madness to begin – Post 1

2011-05-04T15:15:00.003+05:30

And we take the plunge. Yet again, not having learnt from our past mistakes. These lovely women have successfully lured me into this. You might wonder what? Well, we are talking about NaBloPoMo, where we write a blog post each day for the rest of the month.

We did this last year in June and the same group is back again. And how could I miss the party?

The CSAAM month has just got over. Can’t begin to say what the month of April meant to me. It was agonizing and therapeutic, both at the same time. It was stressing beyond words, not just physically but mentally too. And since work can never be ignored, it was personal space and time that took the beating. Late nights and some more. But there isn’t an iota of regret. There is only a sense of fulfillment of having done something worthwhile.

One person that needs a special mention is Aman. For without his support and smile, I couldn’t have carried the CSAAM work. He endured me and my moods with a golden heart. I can never say enough how lucky I am and I can never thank him enough to have chosen me as his life partner. Touchwood.

So coming back to NaBloPoMo, let us start the madness again!

ps: these are the folks who are enthusiastically doing this!

Tales from the wedding – 2

2011-04-25T13:57:00.001+05:30

Click here for "Tale from the wedding - 1"

The timing of the trip back to in-laws place was a near perfect disaster recipe. Let’s just say, being married for almost 5 yrs and having no children to show off, isn’t exactly a very exciting combination, for I knew the kind of looks and sneers I would get.

So the 5^th wedding anniversary was precisely 2 days before the BILs wedding date, which meant that all relatives had safely landed and the celebrations had begun. The spouse made me cut a huge huge cake with a big “happy 5^th” written on top of it. So memories were refreshed for even those relatives who had forgotten about it.

And thus began the lecture marathon from all and sundry and mostly those who matter little. From telling me how I was messing up with my body, to blaming me for coming in the nature’s desired path and then going on and saying how I was depriving the parent in-laws of a “grand son”. Phew. I did remain calm all through. Coz it was more important to ensure that the wedding happened properly. And frankly I was in no mood of altercation over this non issue. In these 5 years I have moved on from being bothered about this. It’s our life and our baby and we will have it when we want it. Nothing else matters.

This post is not about “others advising me on having children”. I am sure a lot of Indian married women have heard enough and more about this. What is rather intriguing is how consistent each of those uncles and aunties were in blessing me with a “SON”. Absolutely no two ways about it. Each and every blessing that I received was for a son. I mean bless me with a healthy baby; won’t that be a wiser thing to do?

Finally I did retaliate, more from the intention to irritate this old neighbor. The moment she said “God bless you with a son very soon”, I did ask her “why son why not a daughter?” And I could see her visibly flushed. Pink in cheeks, she said, that a daughter can happen later but first born should be a son. I glared at her against my better judgment, but she got the message, mumbled something and left. It was actually quite funny to see this effect my words had on this woman. I guess it was a first for her.

Now don’t confuse me with a pseudo feminist. I am no man hater. But I have no preference when it comes to children. When we decide to go in for a baby, I will only hope and pray for a healthy child . Nothing wrong in wishing those, right?

The hair woes continue

2011-04-18T13:55:00.001+05:30

My hair woes continue. I anyways have very little left and at the rate with which I am experimenting I will soon have none left. But the itch to do something or the other with my hair keeps coming back every now and then.

So this weekend, almost impulsively, I found myself at the Salon, with the intention to get my hair colored. The stylist totally sweet talked me in first getting a haircut. So I agreed. Not that it’s too much of a new hairstyle, just correcting the length and adding some more layers.

Besides, the hairstylist refused to believe that I was in Indian. She thought I looked like a Mexican, and I seriously don’t know if I should be happy or sad about it. In her opinion “all Indians” are primarily “dark and quite plain looking” and all my efforts to explain that we Indians came in all kind of skin color had no effect on her. So at the end of the 3 hour ordeal, she still thought I was a Mexican and lying about my identity.

Anyways, coming back to the hair thing, so I get a haircut and then we move on to the coloring bit. And yet another brainwave and I decide to get some highlights as well. So base color is a shade of brown with lots and lots of golden highlights thrown in.

I thought it looked chic, till I came to office, where no one actually noticed it!! How do you feel when you spend a fortune on a haircut, a new hair color & highlights and your friends in office don’t even notice it?? Yeah, spare me, but I don’t really feel too good about it!

Cheese Ravioli, a la Aman style!

2011-04-16T11:46:00.001+05:30

So the husband goes to this fine dine, super expensive, super exclusive, high nosed, upscale, (you get the drift, right) Italian Restaurant. And after a meticulous look at the menu and a chat with the head chef, orders Cheese and Spinach Ravioli in Pesto sauce as entrée.

After much wait the dish finally arrives. All decked up, served in the most exquisite fashion. One bite, and he asks the chef to get him some black pepper. Another bite and some tobasco sauce is ordered. Yet another and some red chili flakes. And then some vinegar and then some dry herbs.

Yeah, a small kitchen was established right on the table. The chef died of embarrassment, I have a feeling he quit his profession too, and as for me, I died laughing, and that precisely is the reason we don’t have any pictures!

CSAAM April 2011 | Speak up – That’s the least your child deserves.

2011-04-14T08:23:00.000+05:30

Children are like little bundles of innocence and miracle. They are meant to be nurtured and cared for. They deserve every ounce of protection that parents can provide. Birth of a child is considered as one of the most joyous occasions in the life of an individual. Then why do the same individuals fail to protect their cherished child? Why is it that the society and appearances become more important than insuring justice for your child?

Whether we accept it or not, whether we talk about it or not, the fact remains that more than 50% children have been sexual abused. This happens across sections of societies and to both girls and boys.

Confrontation is not easy for most people. It requires grit to break shackles and speak up. But how can people not confront the person who has harmed their own children. Why is it that when it comes to dealing with the abuser of their own child, these parents decide to remain silent.

The social stigma has long been associated with the victim. The burden of shame has long been on the tender shoulder of the abused. The families in most cases ignore the signs and even if they notice they try and hush the matter. The first reaction in most cases is to take no notice of it, and even when noticed, more often than not, the next reaction is of disbelief.

And then the ever prevalent belief that something like this will not happen to “us and our children”. Of course, no one likes to live in constant fear and paranoia. But isn’t shutting eyes an extremely lame thing to do?

Things need to change and change begins with you. There frankly is no more space left under the carpet now. Too much of hushing and shoving has happened. Time we start accepting and talking about it.

Educating, discussing about CSA and bringing it out of the closet are the initial steps towards prevention. Only if the child knows what is right and what is wrong will he/she alert parents. Instilling confidence and believing the child is the next step. And god forbid if something happens; there should be absolutely no question about punishing the abuser. For your own conscience and for your child. How else will you be able to look into those eyes ever again without feeling guilty?

Thinking back, I realize how protective my parents always were. Without making my sister and me a mistrustful bunch of kids, they always ensured that we were under the right and the watchful eyes.

They told us what was right and wrong and we knew they would trust us if at all something like this happened.

Children deserve a happy and a safe childhood. And no matter what we as adults have to provide it.

Of Phuket and more

2011-04-12T13:01:00.001+05:30

Phuket was amazing!! 3 days of undefined luxury, relaxation and bliss.

And all that we did was, lie in the pool or lounge beside it and sip on some pretty looking drinks. And then hit the beach and do pretty much the same. Throw in some wonderful Thai massages and some exotic food. Not to forget the carefree driving around the beach town.

What more can a girl ask for? Nothing, absolutely nothing. The villa we stayed in Marriot was to die for. The bath alone was bigger than my current bedroom in Singapore! Sigh. So a super hit holiday, a beautiful tan and the wait begins for the next one. And I have a feeling it will be Bali this time.

In another news, we are moving into a new house next week. The current one was a bit small for our liking. Moving into this house was an ill informed and quick decision but considering it was taken in the first week of moving to Singapore, we didn’t do too badly. The new one is nice, pretty and spacious. A little far from office, but manageable. So we broke our contract midyear, paid a penalty, but never mind, we got a place we like.

Also, most of you must be aware of the work we are doing around creating awareness on Child Sexual Abuse. Do visit the blog and spread awareness by talkin about it. All the details are in here.

And to help spread the word, Blogadda published this article - http://blog.blogadda.com/2011/04/08/child-sexual-abuse-awareness-month

Also, DNA did a article on CSA –
Online – http://www.dnaindia.com/lifestyle/report_its-time-to-protect-the-children_1529628

Print (page 7)- http://epaper.dnaindia.com/dnabangalore/epapermain.aspx?queryed=9&username=&useremailid=&parenteditioncode=9&eddate=4%2f8%2f2011

When History was being written

2011-04-04T15:23:00.001+05:30

We were right there screaming our lungs out. When MSD hit that 6, I almost collapsed in joy. That moment will remain one of the most proud moments in my life for a long long time to come.

There was only one feeling, one wish and one prayer – Win this cup Team India, you all owe it to Sachin. It was for Sachin that I prayed and prayed for India to win. It’s not for nothing that we call him god.

Many many years down the line, I will tell my grandkids, I saw god, and I saw history being created.

Sitting thousands of miles away from home didn’t dampen our spirits neither did it make the victory taste any less sweet. Aman and I decided to watch the match in a pub and that by far was one of the better decisions we made. We reached this pub on Robertson Quay bang on time. The atmosphere was electrifying. Some 500 plus enthusiastic cricket fanatics were there, all geared up to take team to victory. Flags, painted faces, slogan chanting, we did all that and more. To give us company were about 20 Sri Lankan supports as well. And that added to the euphoria of winning.

We cheered each run saved, each wicket that fell and each maiden over that was bowled. And then we cheered each shot, each boundary! We had our heart breaking moments when Sehwag and Sachin got out. And we danced when MSD bashed the Lankan bowlers.

What a match and what a victory, a moment that brought the entire country together. The strangers at that pub were no longer strangers when the match got over. With the dancing, screaming, hugging, hi-fi’s all around I forgot I was in Singapore!!

And yes I cried when the final 6 was hit, I cried when Sachin was carried on the shoulder, I cried when they lifted the cup. Loved the words by Virat Kohli - “Sachin has carried the burden of the nation for 21 years. It's only fair we carry him now” Summed up the whole thing beautifully.

It indeed was one of the most cherishable moments. And will remain etched forever! Mighty proud of the Team. And this one was for Sachin. And this one was for Dad, Mom and Neha who wanted India to win more than anything else.

Child Sexual Abuse Awareness Month [CSAAM] - April 2011

2011-03-28T08:04:00.007+05:30

All through April some blogger friends are hosting the CSA Awareness Month:

If you would like to add to the discussion or know somebody else who would, please note that entries are more than welcome -

a. mailed to csa.awareness.april@gmail.com OR
b. posted as FB notes and linked to the FB page OR

c. posted on your own blog with the badge and "CSAAM April 2011" in the heading and linked to the main blog OR

d. linked or posted on Twitter tagged twitter.com/CSAAwareness OR

e. sent via some/all of the above methods

Some topics are suggested here. Anonymous contributions are accepted and requests for anonymity will of course be honoured. I will probably be hosting at least one guest post and encourage you to do the same for non-blogger friends.

Please remember to send in a mail with links to your blog post/FB Notes (or just your input) to csa.awareness.april@gmail.com so that we can track your contribution and make sure that it is not inadvertently lost or something.

Stop before you grow fat

2011-03-22T16:11:00.000+05:30

Because losing weight is not an easy task!!!

So I have been on this Low Carbohydrate diet for over two weeks now. The diet has enough merits and claims to do wonders. So far the weighing scale hasn’t moved in the direction which would have given me any pleasure. But to be fair, I do feel good. Major detoxification has happened. After all being off carbs, dairy and sweets doesn’t leave one with too much choice.

Honestly, I think this is a very good diet to follow, but what works against me is my work timing. This kind of dieting needs a bit of planning, where in one can prepare and cook suitable stuff. Or where one has some help at hand. Since having moved to Singapore I have been bereft of a cook and my work hours are fairly long. This means in most cases I either starve or eat things not allowed. But I am trying to cope and thanks to Monika and 2 more wonderful ladies I am able to do some bit of it. You girls rock and if not for you all I would have given up on day 2.

The diet is surely giving me misplaced illusions and crazy dreams where in I dreamt of gorging Jalebis and eating noodles and drinking coffee. The other day I caught myself sucking at that lone piece of dark chocolate and refusing to swallow it. Next will be when I start staring at people and their food in restaurants and food courts and then surely I will be labeled as a lunatic and thrown out of the country. Ah, well!

Of Daughters and Sons

2011-03-07T08:17:00.009+05:30

There was much celebration in the house. The mother had been blessed with a baby boy. The baby was doing well and so was the mother. All relatives were rejoicing. Someone said – It’s good that the first born is a boy, now no one needs to worry about what the next will be. And others vehemently agreed.

And a couple of years later, a girl was born too. It was the proverbial “complete family”. All efforts were put in to provide the best in class education to the boy. The best school in town, the best college in the country and then a foreign MBA. The girl got a raw deal in comparison. Being a girl she wasn’t allowed to leave her small town to big bad world of Delhi or Mumbai for higher studies. She managed. Completed her graduation and started working in a bank, and slowly and steadily made her way up.

Both the children got married. The boy is settled in USA with his wife and a son. His trips to India are random, about one in 2-3 years. His parents have never visited him. They don’t even have a valid USA visa. The girl got married too. She has a daughter.

It’s been 35 years since that blessed son was born. The father is now heart patient. He suffered a stroke followed by a paralysis attack and then failed kidneys. He has to go for dialysis regularly. The mother is fighting cancer and is undergoing Chemotherapy. She also had a mighty fall and broke her hip and thigh bone. An iron plate and rod has been inserted and she has been put on bed and has been advised no movement what so ever.

The daughter has been living with them, since the first stroke happened. She had come to take care of the father with the intention to return as soon as he recovered. It’s been 3 years ever since. In these 3 years she has taken a job transfer back to her parents town. Her daughter now goes to school there. The husband lives in another town and visits them every weekend. Her whole life revolves around her parents. The son “has not been able” to visit even once.

And still our society craves for a son. They reason – “who will take care of us when we are old and frail? The daughter will be long gone”. This is a true story. It’s happening with someone I have known for over 15 years. The desire for the son is still very strong. It doesn’t matter if we are in the 21^st century already. Can we for once treat children as children? Can we for once provide them equal opportunities? I am in no way typecasting all sons in this bracket. I am just narrating a true story. Think about it…

Tales from the wedding - 1

2011-03-03T17:09:00.000+05:30

Lots and lots happened. But of course, I can’t write them all here so let me narrate this one occasion for the sake of being narrated.

Out of all people critical for a wedding to be concluded in Northern India, Punjab, to be more specific, one very important category is that of the Eunuchs. So while you need the band walas, the mehendi walas, the cooks, the press wala, the pundits, the beauty salon lady, the guy who will put up the lights and tents, the flower wala, the photographer etc etc, the wedding cannot be treated as official commenced until the “Eunuchs” visit your home and bless the new couple.

They turn up mostly uninvited, curtsey, their impeccable network, which informs them of such occasions. And once there, they won’t depart unless paid a good hefty amount, clothes and sweets.

This is exactly what happened post the wedding. A messenger came home informing us that the Eunuchs will visit the household in the evening and that we should be prepared. I had never seen such a thing before, although vaguely aware of the concept. What followed was quite interesting. I saw my mother-in-law, asking the maid to go and inform the neighbors about the same. Some phone calls were made too.

Come evening I saw hordes of women from the neighborhood descending into our house. They were all there to see the blessings. And then the Eunuchs came all done up in this really bright and expensive attire. They came with their band of 2 musicians. Both us daughter in laws were asked to dress up and sit pretty.

What followed was quite hilarious. The Eunuchs danced and sang for close to 30 mins. Actually, if you ask me it was quite entertaining although I didn’t follow half the things they said. Post all this song and dance the newlywed girl was blessed with, guess what? Quite obvious, a son! And of course I wasn’t spared too. A son for me too!!

Post which my MIL parted with quite a hefty sum, some nice clothes and sweets! This is the tradition there. One doesn’t upset them. And no, there is no fear or irritation in giving them the money. In fact like all other wedding expense, even this is accounted for. People willingly give them what they ask for.

This is a category of people, considered to be among the lowest end of social strata, abused and cursed. And here they were being revered as the messenger of good luck and blessings. They make their living by giving blessings and they are very sincere about it. They have accepted their misfortune and have made a livelihood out of it. One could see the desire to break ranks and live a good life glistening in their eyes and yet they performed what they were expected to with outmost honesty. Yes, it was indeed a very strange experience and very humbling too.

Adventure at Fairprice!

2011-03-02T12:52:00.000+05:30

A rather strange thing happened yesterday at the departmental store. Aman had ventured out late in the night post dinner to pick up some essentials while I battled with some inane presentation. Trip to Fairprice (the said departmental store) is usually a post dinner affair as firstly it’s open 24 hrs and secondly it also serves as a good after dinner walk which surely my old body needs once in a while.

So yesterday the man of the house went there all by himself only to be completely stalked and then hounded by an old lady. The said lady came up to him from behind the shelves and asked him all of a sudden if he was a Jew. He isn’t and he said so, but she insisted he has to be a Jew for his eyes were so beautiful and deep and only Jews had such beautiful eyes? I mean, what kind of statement was that!!

Anyways, he denied and walked ahead. And then she came up to him again and asked if he knew who Indra Gandhi was? Of course, won’t all Indians know her? She claimed that he was related to Indra Gandhi in some way. She went one step ahead and asked Aman to inform Rahul Gandhi to play safe as his life is in danger. That’s when it turned a little scary. And then she started talking some strange things about me as well.

And then the lady began with her sermon on how we should both be reading the Hebrew Bible. That was the cue for Aman to really run.

So Jew, and Rahul Gandhi and Hebrew Bible?? I am so not venturing to fairprice anytime soon.

And I am now angry.

2011-02-24T15:36:00.000+05:30

People are like mirrors. When I look at someone, I see only what I want to see. I have my pre conceived notions and I notice only those aspects which I want to see. This was true for me like when I was in my early teens or something!!! But isn’t any more. Because I have grown up and matured and to a far extent stopped being judgmental as well.

Unfortunately, you are where I left you a decade back. And I do pity you for it. Because you have no idea how childish your attitude is and how silly it makes you look. You had the making of an intelligent human being but I guess you lost out somewhere along the way.

I know you come around here reading my blog. And my thoughts rub you the wrong way. Because, in my happiness you don’t see happiness, you see my insecurity, which by the way doesn’t exist. In my experiences you see “show-off”, in my annoyances you see “contempt”. My life really is quite happy. So please give up on being judgmental about it.

There is only one message I have for you – Grow up. I have been ignoring you for past many years, and will continue to do so after this one burst. I write this today because I feel sad for you. And truly, we were good friends once upon a time, and I thought I would do you one last favor!

Why have I been crying?

2011-02-24T09:19:00.000+05:30

Something really strange has been happening to me lately. Don’t know how or when, but suddenly I see myself transformed into this fat round gooey mass of emotions. It’s like I am brimming with sentiments. And even a slight nudge is enough to get me all teary eyed. It’s not that I am cold hearted otherwise. But this is stretching it a bit too far.

Like for example the other day I caught myself crying while watching Patiala House. Now, who in its sane mind would do that?? I have been crying when friends have announced pregnancies, which by the way, seems like a national phenomenon!!

Yesterday, Massi put up pictures of a recent family function on FB and I had a lump in my throat watching the family together. And when my Dad’s and his brothers picture came up I cried some bucketful, and mind you this is when I was with dad exactly 15 days back? These are but a few examples and I am walking around with an eternal lump in my throat and dew in my eyes.

Papa (in Black), with Chachu and Bade Papa

So nostalgia is at an all time high. It looks to me like a very bad case of PMSing or a major after effect of this India trip. Which by the way rocked in more ways that I can ever list out? The bonding with Aman’s side of the family went up by a few notches, and this when I am already quite close to all of them, is quite commendable. I so feel a part of the clan. The way they have all gone out of their way to accept me is just a bit unbelievable. I have felt this all along, but now that I have completed 5 yrs of being married, I can safely say it aloud as well. Touch wood!

Coming back to the emotional bit, this song is also doing its trick. Not that I am boy or ever studied in Punjab or did most of the things the singer talks about. So hormones acting up. Any remedies people?

To India

2011-01-24T10:08:00.000+05:30

Come Friday and we are off to India. Our first trip home since we moved to Singapore last year and the occasion is as joyous as it can get. Its Aman’s brothers wedding. Which means there will be much family time, finger licking food, clothes, jewelry, dancing, singing and the works!

Yes, yet another Big fat Punjabi wedding. And since I am the one and only Bhabhi (sister-in-law) there is much to look forward to. I have always been a great fan of Indian traditions and I know that there are times when we will go overboard with stuff. And maybe in retrospect we will think if there was a point in all the extravagance. But as of now, I just want to go with the flow of the celebrations.

So shopping for gifts has been done for some selective set of relatives. Buying gifts for all wasn’t an option. It would have emptied our pockets and we would have ended up paying for extra baggage too. So we decided to act sane and buy gifts for some of the folks. The remaining shall be gifted on our next trip.

As for my shopping for the wedding, it’s non-existent. I obviously cannot buy Indian clothes from here. So all my shopping which is like a lot will happen in India. I have less than 24hrs in Delhi to pick up as much as I can. It would be an understatement to say I am nervous. From my past experiences it takes but a week or so of dedicated effort to get the entire ensemble ready. And here I have just a couple of days, so tell me how on earth I do it. I need nothing less than a miracle to help me sail through. And no this is no drama, and I am so hoping that the ladies out there will understand! Send some prayers my way will you??

But keeping this earth shattering problem aside, I am super duper excited. I am so looking forward to welcome a new member to Malhotra household. And obviously there are very few things in the world like a Punjabi wedding you see. And you got to attend one to know what I mean. And I get to meet my parents too who will be very much part of the wedding so that’s the added bonus. All in all, looking forward to some major fun, provided I get my clothes ready, else there will be one grumpy, irritated me and that’s no good person to deal with!

Of Festivals and Families

2011-01-13T13:02:00.003+05:30

Nostalgia is at an all time high. Its Lohri today and here I am, stuck at work with no plans whatsoever to celebrate the festival. And being in Singapore doesn’t help my cause you see.

Childhood memories come flooding back as I am trying to get some work done. The mind is refusing to concentrate. I feel myself transported to the cold winter evenings of Ranchi. Lohri each year was celebrated with as much gusto and enthusiasm. The entire family would come together to dance and sing around the bonfire. There was yummy traditional food. And sweets. Revari and Popcorns which were then generously thrown in the fire. A feeling of happiness and festivity all around. Lots of laughter and some gossips. Traditional songs, dance and the some money imparted by elders to the ones younger to them. So not only did we have fun but we also came out richer.

Lohri for me was an occasion, like many others, when my entire family would be together. This was in fact the best part of my growing up years. The fondness my entire family had for celebrations and festivals. Right from childhood we saw all festivals being celebrated together and with a lot of heart and soul being put in it. Not just festivals but each and every occasion, like birthdays, anniversaries, New Year and even children’s day meant that the whole gang would be together, eating and having fun! And it helped that we were a lot of us in the same town. We were what can easily symbolize "the nice big fat Indian family."

And now living so far away from home, I can’t even begin to express how much I miss it. Thankfully I have the memories.

You can go here and read more about this festival - http://www.lohrifestival.org

Leaving you with the lyrics of this traditional Lohri song – Sunder munderiye hoye, tera kaun vichara hoye,dulla bhatti wala hoye,dulle di dhi wihaai hoye,sher shakar paare hoye!

Here is my take on “No One Killed Jessica”

2011-01-12T12:21:00.001+05:30

Let’s separate the two. The tragedy and the film.

The incident is something that I had followed very closely. And like half of India I too felt cheated when the accused were let off. I too felt the rage and anger. And I too wanted the criminals to be punished. So seeing it all live on screen brought back all these emotions again. I was watching it more like a documentary or a series of how the events took place. And yes I did end up with tears in my eyes.

Now coming to the movie – I thought it was a very mediocre affair. Vidya was good, Rani was over the top. Some characters were very good, like the cop. The movie could have been better. And this is why I say this – Just assume that this movie wasn’t made on a real life incident. Just assume if this same movie was totally fictitious? What if there was no Jessica Lal ever killed. In that case this movie would have fallen flat.

The movie brings forward the obvious. The helplessness of the common man. The power of position and money and its misuse that’s rampant. The movie reminds one of the fact that what a barbaric society this is.

The idea behind the movie was to portray what had happened in reality and there I think it has done a decent job. It does try and make things larger than life at some places, but then it’s a movie at the end of the day. Go watch it once.

On a separate note, I am quite happy that Shweta won Big Boss. Among all and sundry present there, she was the most decent one. She is quite gritty in her own ways. Independent, single mom, someone who said no to abuse and chucked that joker of a husband out of her life. Think about it, it was that loud mouth Dolly who played such a crucial role in Shweta’s victory though. The whole bit about Shweta being abused and victimized by Dolly had the nation voting for her. Something similar to what happened with Shilpa Shetty.

For this had to be written

2011-01-04T08:57:00.001+05:30

A decade has ended and another has begun. The decade that saw me leaving my teenage behind and entering my twenties, a decade where I transitioned from a student into a professional. I finished education, got a degree, started working and became financially independent. I lived in 4 cities through this time. It was during this decade that I met A, we became best friends and god knows when fell in love and then got married as well. A decade where a young girl left her hometown in pursuit of bigger things in life. To find her true self. And I think I have done pretty well on that.

This decade could easily be classified as the growth decade. A decade of personal, professional, financial and emotional growth. Of happiness and fun I never imagined existed. And of grief and feelings I wasn’t aware of. All in all, a very fulfilling time. The beautiful twenties of my life. Of Love, pleasure, travelling, living to the fullest. Of losing some friends and making some more. And of realizing which of these will stay forever.

It is never possible to say with certainty of how the time to come by will mould itself. But something that I can foresee is that this new decade will be the decade of nurturing the growth that took place previously. A solid foundation to life has been laid and ground work has been done. It’s time to set the blocks soaring.

I wish all of you a very happy new year. I wish for all of your wishes to be fulfilled and your hearts to be filled with contentment and joy. Be healthy, spend time with family, laugh out loud, spend money, travel, read. Be Good!!

Dance baby dance

2010-12-13T15:37:00.001+05:30

I admit! I am a sucker for dance based reality shows. Yeah, laugh now. I don’t care!!

Every time I see these non dancers shake that leg it makes me all dreamy. How I see myself doing just that. And why I say this today is coz’ yet another season of Jhalak Dikh La Ja premiered yesterday.

My association with dance is pretty old, just like that of any other kid. I have very vivid memories of dancing as a child and I remember being told how good I was at it. This trend continued till my teenage years with number of house parties, for in a town like Ranchi discs were unheard of. But that was then. Gradually the dancer in me retired and now what is left is a girl who can barely shake a leg in the crowded disc and do some vague bhangara steps, thanks to the never ending weddings. But that’s no dance, that’s just moving to the beats.

What I want to learn is proper dance. Salsa, Rumba, Hip-Hop, Fusion, Bollywood. I really do. And this urge becomes strong each time I watch these dance shows. I see myself dancing like the stars.

In fact about 6 months back I even joined a dance school and went for exactly 4 classes. Then work played spoil sport and dance was forgotten along with the fee. But one thing that came out clearly in those 4 classes was how Pathetic I was. I don’t know how and when I will ever manage to get back to learning, but this is surely one thing I want to try, maybe I will suck at it or might be good too.

Till then let me day dream and see myself participating in one of these shows. What about you, do you dance?

Shoes, dont we love thee!

2010-12-01T21:49:00.002+05:30

Since I have been talking about shopping and shopping I thought it would be a good idea to give you, my esteemed readers, a sneak peek into my shoe rack. Featured below are only the shoes, of the high heel types, acquired very recently. A little context here will help: I have a self declared shoe obsession. And I buy, whenever I get a chance. Whilst I was moving to Singapore, there was only as much I could bring along. So I gave some to my sister and packed some home. There were still too many left. So I donated, all of 30 plus pairs. Yeah, I didn’t have too much choice, with Aman threatening me and Dad coaxing me, I gave in.

This only means the need to refurbish the depleted collection. Posting some pictures below, because you wanted to see it!!

To go with the new brown dress!

The Comfy ones

The essential ones

These are a shade of Grey, dunno why they look Cream.

Love these,

These look awesome with skirts.

Peep toes!

This happens only in Singapore..

2010-12-01T14:05:00.000+05:30

This happened 2 days back, it was pretty late by the time we got out of office. Late enough to throw out of the window, the idea of going home and cooking. So we decided to finish mundane responsibilities like feeding ourselves till we burst and then heading home to crash on the super comfortable new mattress we just bought. Ah the mattress, I tell you, is like a sucker of all aches and stress. I actually wake up fresh as a daisy. The old one that the land lady gave us was like that inflated bouncer children play on. Can’t say what we went through with that!!! But I digress.

Coming back to what happened two days back. We decided to have dinner and choose this cute little bistro right below my office. The weather was good, quite unlike Singapore, so we decided to sit out. We placed our order, food came, the server left us alone and we ate and ate and ate. And then we got up, got into a cab and left. Pretty normal, if you ask me? Ha, only one slight deviation. We forgot to pay the bill in fact we even forgot to call for the bill. This we realized only after we had reached home and had settled on the said comfortable mattress.

Now like any other responsible people, we should have gone back and paid them first thing next day, which we wanted to do, but we didn’t, because we were super busy, after all the Singapore economy will crumble down if we get late to work. And then we forgot about it. Till today when we sat in a café right next to the said bistro sipping the high on calorie cappuccino. And then this server came to us. I had visions of her calling the cops and handcuffing us. But, ladies and gentleman, before we could start apologizing, she started saying sorry, first for interrupting our coffee and then for asking us for her truly deserved money. I almost fell of my chair. She relentlessly kept saying she was sorry and I kept saying the same. In the end no one knew who the guilty was. Matter ended peacefully!! I am so going back to this place; this time will pay up at the start of the meal though!

The great Singapore Sale

2010-11-29T12:19:00.003+05:30

The great Singapore Sale, where art thou? Come soon and rescue me, for there is a compulsive need to shop and some discounts would do no harm! Yeah, so it’s not like I have landed in Singapore from some god forsaken village which didn’t have the variety or the choice to offer. Bangalore is pretty decent and throw in a couple of trips to Australia, Delhi and Bangkok (remember?? GRIN!!!!!! in between and you can get all you want!!

Which means that there has to be a divine power at play here? Did I sleep too close to the Sophie Kinsella’s confession of a shopaholic? I guess not. So why my lord why, am I behaving like this? I am buying like I am on a vacation to Singapore and will never ever get a chance again in this life time. And it doesn’t help to have ones office at a stone’s throw from the main shopping area. But the madness needs to end, so, today, on this blog I make a promise, 2 more pairs of shoes and no more shopping till Christmas!! Heehaw!!!!!!!!!

And in another news, I loved Guzarish. Period!! Stop complaining people and stop being overly critical. It’s a good movie and Hrithik is awesome. We have become a race of complainers. We need to complain no matter what. Its not perfection that we are looking for, its just the sad pleasure we get in putting things down! Ah, anyways, that’s a lot of gyan from Prof Malhotra!So, did ya watch Guzarish yet?

From Where We Left

2010-11-22T09:52:00.002+05:30

The baby has been ignored way too much. I have been a very bad girl. And no excuses this time. There is so much happening in life that I can write a book, let alone a blog post. But then, when there is way too much happening in life, something’s do take a beating. And in my case it was my once cherished blog. So no more saying I will be regular, it’s rather I be regular and say later.

Settling-in in Singapore has been far easier than I ever imagined. Things have fallen into place pretty smoothly. The home, office and the works!! So good so far.

Have been doing a lot of “exploring the city” kinda stuff over the weekends. Shopping is at an all time high and I really need to put a stop on that. This retail therapy will soon put me into forced financial therapy. The holes in the pockets are getting bigger by the day but the temptation seems to outdo any sane thinking. But there is one thing that I am sorely missing and that’s my book shopping. Not that there are no book stores here, there are and in plenty. What I miss is reading Indian Authors, which in the last few years meant reading beyond Salman Rushdie and Vikram Seth. Those gems are unfortunately not available. So my respite is Amazon but you see the feel is missing.

These few initial months in Singapore have also led to some realizations. A very close friend always said that cooking for her acts like a stress buster, so even after a very hectic day at work, she would get back and cook and feel fresh. I never understood that while I was in India. But strangely, here in Singapore, I have started to enjoy cooking. Although we still eat out a lot even on weekdays, yet I have started to look forward to doing my bit in the kitchen. Like I say, we are always learning more about ourselves and this is the latest self discovery! Aman is busy basking in this new found interest of mine; let me see how many weeks will this last.

So how has life been with you all? Let me be really good and open my Google Reader now!!

I miss my black beauty...

2010-09-24T08:18:00.002+05:30

…really, really do.

With all the silver linings that Singapore as our new home is offering us, there is still this big big gap to fill. The absence of a car in our lives. How much I am missing my car which we dutifully sold off before coming here. And whoever you are, who has bought it, better take care of it!

So now I use public transport to commute to work each day. A train to be precise. My complaining won’t be justified as the MRT system here is super comfortable. We have taken a house next to the MRT station and in Singapore that’s the biggest achievement one can boast off. And then there are busses. And for weekends there are cabs, in abundance!

But still, I miss my car. I miss driving. I miss the comfort. I miss the sense of ownership.

My colleagues who have been here for a while, tell me that this is just a phase and sooner than later I will be more than happy about not having the hassle to drive, park etc. Owning a car here is not as easy as having one in India or any other country for that matter. First the government is not too excited by the idea of people using private transport, so taxes are really huge. So is parking and then the cost of car. About 65% people use the public transport on a daily basis. So yeah now I am part of the majority.

But having said all that the crux of the matter is that I terribly miss the black beauty which we sold off before coming here. It was our first car, bought in the first year of our marriage. Ah so many memories, so many trips. The least I can hope is that the new owner cherishes it as much as I did.

Of This and That

2010-09-23T12:46:00.002+05:30

I feel the need to do another Blog Marathon. Only then will I be regular here. Truthfully I miss this place. But life is just running past me, while I huff and pant and try to catch up. It’s fun, it’s stressful, it’s confusing, but it’s worth every bit.

Yeah so coming to the Marathon bit, anyone ready to join??

Moved to Singapore and settling in. Found a flat and shifted in last week as well. It still looks alien, the kitchen, the bedroom, the living area. It’s all mine and yet nothing belongs to me. But what’s fun is the settling in part. It’s just like the good old days when Aman and I were just married and were building our lives together. The place is pretty comfortable, furnished with all the essentials. So we are basically saved from the hassle of buying a lot of stuff. Now the hunt for a maid has started. Hopefully I shall be blessed soon.

It wasn’t easy to give up a well settled comfortable life back in Bangalore and come to this not so far land. It had its own set of uncertainties, its own sets of odds. But we took the plunge. And so far it’s been good.

We attended a barbecue party a couple of days after we had landed here. It was predominated by Indians and most of the women present there were non-working mums. And never before have I been in the company of so many non working mums. Therefore the generalization I am trying to draw here might be completely off track and for that don’t bite me please. Yeah, so coming to this group, there was just 1 bachelor amongst them and all these women were trying to convince him to get married. And the entire spiel was around how he could get good food and ironed clothes. How he didn’t need to bother about maid and cleaning once he got a wife. I mean, it was appalling!! How could they speak like that?? And being women at that!!! My better sense prevailed and before I could break a few skulls and I quietly slipped out and joined the men where they were discussing cricket and beer. Ha, so yeah, Singapore is no different from India!!

All our bags are packed..

2010-08-30T18:33:00.002+05:30

..and we are ready to move.

The big change is just around the corner. An era in Bangalore comes to an end. And another in Singapore is just about to begin.

It wasn’t an easy decision. But exciting none the less. Bangalore has been our home ever since we got married. And goes without saying what a special place it has in our hearts. We will miss the people we leave behind. We will miss the city.

Last few days have been super hectic. Work, travel, a trip home, meeting friends and saying goodbyes.

And in between all this the mammoth task of deciding what to give away and what to keep.

Packing is in shambles as always. I am leaving behind a lot of stuff, taking just the essentials. And it’s no mean feat to let go of things. Difficult, but kind of elevating, this letting go. And it surely doesn’t come easily to someone who clings on to old battered jeans.

We don’t know for how long we’ll be gone. A few years or maybe some more. We’ll take it as it comes.

Right now the excitement levels are too high. There is this whole new charm to life itself.

Its our last couple of days in Bangalore and time just seems to be running away too soon. There is a lot more to finish. So next update will be from the La Land.

When did that happen??

2010-07-20T16:28:00.002+05:30

Surely while I was sleeping. Coz last I remember I was buying Caramel Popcorns for 20 bucks. And this was in a multiplex, in Pune. Yeah, so it was 5 yrs back, but then, so what?

In these 5 yrs, how can the damn thing costs Rs 85. And I don’t remember a single price point in between.

Which means only one thing – thee should buy thy popcorn on its own. Making a sorry face and then blackmailing husband to get popcorn all the time will result in a state of shock sooner of later.

I almost made a fool of myself at the counter. Took one caramel popcorn and handed over the 100 rupee note. The guy gave me 15 rs back and I dutifully waited to get more change. Some strange expressions and his attempt to serve the guy behind me made me realize that the damn thing was indeed Rs 85. But I still stuck my ground and reiterated that I had only bought 1 popcorn and nothing else. Irritated attendant again told me its 85.

Yeah so I am thinking of filing a complaint somewhere? Who will listen to me?

On a related note – I think Inception is mind blasting! I was dazed. Maybe I am writing this in my dream? Go watch it. I have always liked Leo and now the world appreciates him. Revenge Commeth!!

And we reach the finale – Post 28

2010-06-30T12:17:00.005+05:30

I did it. Yes, as successfully as I could. Skipped 2 days, first because it was this mad mad day and 2^nd because I was a bit mad that day.

Wrote every single day. Wrote about things I wouldn’t have written otherwise. My readers know more about me post the NaBloPoMo now.

Completed the month without picking up a tag!! And that is something I am very happy about.

My friend thinks that next month will be a “Na – Blog – Post – Month”. Let’s see if she knows me well.

My reason for taking this up was to be regular with my blogging. I had been missing for a while and I am sure nothing better could get me back. Work was at its worst and that made the entire effort even more worth it.

It was taxing no doubt but it was as much fun too.

Its now time for my thank-you speech:

All my partners in this crime – Monika, Meira, Pixie, Swaram, Prats and some more, I owe this to the commenting you guys did. Had it not been for the “present here” comment I would have lost hope long back. {Ducks to avoid the eggs and tomatoes!!!

now please don’t stop commenting, phuleaseeee}

A big hug to Aman, for enduring my “its 11:30 pm, the clock is ticking and I haven’t posted yet” panic modes.

Anu – hugs to u, u tried to get me off this and I know your intentions were right

Thanks to my neighbors – generally!!

And aunty’s dog – even more generally!!!

And to the maid and the cook – now what if I didn’t have the support system at home. Time would have gone in cribbing and ordering food, right?? {What, you thought I would say – cooking and cleaning, huh???}

So tra lala la. And its time to treat myself!! Chicken Biryani any one??

And the Day was made – Post 27

2010-06-29T23:39:00.005+05:30

Mornings are typical. Aman wakes me up in the warmest way possible. I scramble out of the bed, switch on the geyser, then the laptop and then collapse again to catch another precious 5 mins of sleep.

While the bath gets ready, I clear a few mails, plan my work day and then log into Facebook. Not that anything earth shattering would have happened through the night. It’s just like a habit.

So this morning when I logged on to FB I saw a notification saying my blog had been mentioned in a friend’s status message.

And when I read what it was, I was happy and touched beyond words.

My friend’s status message said “she wakes up to My blog and Monika’s blog each morning”

Now isn’t that extremely flattering??

Check it out for yourself.

I didn’t even know she was reading me, let alone reading me each day. So “E” big big thank-you to you. You really made my day!!

What do women want? Post 26

2010-06-28T14:13:00.004+05:30

Many a philosophers have spent a lifetime trying to figure this one out. Many a sages went through time to get the answers. But does anyone really know?? Here is my attempt to answer the question as I see it. For the one woman really close to me is Me.

What women want is control over her destiny, a control over her life.

We want freedom of choice, of opinion, of living the way we want.

We want to be secured and yet be fancy free!

We want a man who loves us, respects us and cares for us. We want a man who keeps us on a pedestal up there and adore us. We want a man who really wants us.

We want children when we want them and not when the world thinks we should have them.

We want a home. A warm welcoming place to come back to.

We want friends who are as mad as us and yet understand us.

We want a career and we want the choice to quit when we wish.

We want money. We want the perfect wardrobe. We want a lot of shoes. We want holidays and vacations.

We want a healthy body. We want to love our curves, our color, our skin and our hair. And we do. Please let us be.

We want to walk at any hour without carrying the pepper-spray.

We want to be respected. We are proud of who we are, please do not force us to think otherwise.

We want to be individuals first and then be seen as “women”.

Is this asking for a lot??

Ps: this is also my entry for BlogAdda’s What Woman Want contest In association with pringoo.com

Gucci or Shakespeare - Post 25

2010-06-27T10:00:00.001+05:30

What would you rather be – “rich and uneducated” or “poor and educated” ??

Is it preferable to have a Prada without even knowing how to pronounce it or would you be rather be reading a battered 3^rd version of a classic?

If education is just a means to prosperity then why is wealth without one considered vulgar??

Go on tell me, what would you rather be??

Ain’t I lucky? Post 24

2010-06-26T04:37:00.004+05:30

Yesterday when I got home after work I found my MIL busy in the kitchen. She always is and one more person having a blast other than Aman and me is my cook. He comes, looks around, and finding nothing much to do, cuts some salads and fruits and leaves.

Coming back to yesterday – she was cooking Arbi (Also known as Taro, picture below for ref). This is a very popular north Indian vegetable. Both Aman and I are very fond of it. Aman likes the dry version and I like the gravy version better. Arbi is not easily available in Bangalore and so she brought a kilogram or so of it all the way from Punjab. Really sweet of her!! So first time she made the dry version and I casually commented that I like the gravy one more.

Now yesterday, when I entered the kitchen, I saw her making both types of Arbi. On one burner was the type Aman likes and on the other side was how I like it.

I asked her why she was doing it and she said because that’s how I like it. I was touched beyond words. Really, which MIL will go all the way and do something like this. Didn’t I say I am blessed?

TOUCHWOOD!!

From the eyes of a North Indian – Post 23

2010-06-25T11:30:00.000+05:30

On the account of generalizing a bit I can say that for a typical north Indian, the four southern Indian states existed only in the geography books. Outside of books it was all “South India” or “Madras” to be more specific. And I was no exception.

This changed when I went to Pune for my MBA. That’s where I realized how different a Malayali is from a Kannadiga. How the food eaten by an Andhraite was very different from Tamilian.

And yes there was more to the rich cuisine than just Idli, Dosa and Sambhar.

I had 2 roommates. One was a Tam Bram (Iyer) and other a Kannadiga from Dharwad. My closest fried was a Reddy from Andhra Pradesh. The girl in the next room was a Manglorean. The guy I use to borrow notes from was a Tamilian. This really cool girl who sang like a dream was from Kerala. And then there were many more.

And living with them for 2 years in the residential environment of B School, I was made aware of how varied each of the culture was.

From sharing the spicy pickle from one to having the curd rice with another, to having fried fish with one to sharing the bissibele bath with another, I savored the variation and the variety of each of these regions.

And then as destiny had it, I got my first job in Bangalore. The small window that had opened up in Pune became like this big passage to discovery. Every since, I have been on a mode to learn and imbibe more and more. From “the on your face diversity” to “the finer nuances”, the journey has been extraordinary till now.

Happy hours Forever – Post 22

2010-06-24T00:05:00.003+05:30

Finally the day has come, for the little girl to grow a wee bit older!!!

Here’s wishing Meira a very very happy birthday. May you get more of everything this year and in all the years to come by!!

More love, more kisses, more $#%.

Lot more parties and even more holidays.

More beer and more egg rolls.

More fun and more money

Of this perfect day in Phuket – Post 21

2010-06-23T10:10:00.002+05:30

I was in Phuket in February this year. It was an official trip (yeah, not kidding, it was). We had our 3 day Sales Conference there. The schedule was as packed as it can get. And being in-charge of the conference meant I had no breather at all.

The event got over on a Friday night with this gala dinner and celebrations. And my return to Bangalore was on Saturday evening.

I had 2 choices 1) to step out of Marriott where I was staying and explore the local Phuket or 2) to stay back and enjoy the beautiful resort.

I was tired beyond words and so I opted for the second option.

And in that I had one of the most perfect days I could without Aman by my side. For me the idea of having fun without him is very limited. I love my girlie time out. I love my random shopping trips. I love my coffee and my books. But if it’s something big I have to have to have him.

Yeah I missed him and it goes without saying, for those who know me well. But I didn’t have too much choice. Either I could sit and sulk or I could get out and enjoy the sun, sea and sand!!

And I choose the saner option!!

Woke up really early and went for this hour long swim followed by a session in the open Jacuzzi. The place has Asia’s largest meandering pool (that’s what I was told.)

This was followed by a real sumptuous breakfast of salami, croissant, eggs, waffles, pancakes, fresh fruits and of course lots of coffee.

The next few hours were spent on the beach reading and introspecting. Staring at the pristine waters, soaking in the sun, and trying to get some tan. After all who comes back from Thailand without one??

And then I did something I have never done before. I treated myself to a proper Thai massage. It was heavenly to say the least. Those women have some strength. Don’t go by their petite frame. They are pretty good at this. So floored by them I also got a head message done. It was as close to ecstasy as one can get.

After letting the oil ooze in to each and every pore on my skin, I went swimming in the ocean. The warm salty water was a delight. And yeah the tan was coming in. Floating on my back, eyes closed, warm water on my skin, I was as close to Nirvana as possible. I have no idea how long I did that but it must be pretty long coz by the time I got out it was way past lunch time.

Which meant that time to leave for the airport was nearing.

Taking one last look at the sea, absorbing in as much as I could, content and happy, and of course with the promise to be back soon, this time obviously with Aman, I made my way back to the room.

And then you know the Earth has fallen!! Post 20

2010-06-22T12:34:00.004+05:30

So the guy I am married to is very finicky about the food he eats. He is a big foodie and therefore he is extremely touchy about it. No, you can’t screw up. There are no bad food days. If the cook has messed up, the food remains untouched and promptly a phone call is made to order stuff from some or the other restaurant.

That’s one. The other very important aspect is that no dish can be repeated. Yeah, not even Rajma, not even Chicken curry. If he has eaten it ones, he won’t eat it again. No matter how nice it is, no matter how much is left, no matter how much I urge, cry and then threaten. In a household of 2 it’s rather difficult to cook the exact quantities, and that you will agree. But “LEFTOVERS” is a big no no.

Remember the doggy bags, the ones we use to get all that extra stuff packed from the restaurants?? Yeah, I miss them; I haven’t seen them since we got together.

One person is rather happy with this habit of my better half, and that’s the maid. She is the one who gets all the good stuff coz there are no takers for it in the Malhotra household.

I have tried in the past all tricks possible under the sun. From camouflaging the dish, to doing some major drama, to talking about the food wastage, to reminding him of all the poor children who sleep empty stomach and some more. Nothing has worked!!

The problem is he doesn’t fight. He just throws a tantrum, like a 4 yr old? Or he gets all cute in a way that tugs at my heart, or simply refuses to eat saying he isn’t hungry!! And the love sick girl I still am, I give in. That’s been the story of my life for the last 4.5 years and I have rather got used to it.

Now last week, there was Dal Makhani that was made for dinner by his Mom (I mentioned that in-laws are visiting). The next morning, mom suggested that she gave him the same Dal Makhani for breakfast as well. Me being me, said rather proudly, that Aman won’t even touch it. Right then our man walks into the kitchen and mom popped the question to him. And hold your breath ladies and gentlemen, HE AGREED. And then he ate it like it was the best thing he ever had!!! Praises and more praises.

Now, you my esteemed readers tell me, shouldn’t I be furious at this? Shouldn’t I bring the household down? For 4 years I have suffered. And now in front of my MIL this is what I get. I think its time to go on a strike!!

Coming back to where we started. - Post 19

2010-06-21T17:21:00.003+05:30

So the last post was a total bouncer. Here is the background:

Was speaking to my bestest friend on Saturday night. It was close to 9:30 and I hadn’t written a post. It was frustrating. I wasn’t getting any ideas. I didn’t want to write a weekend update (I never do that), neither a book nor a movie review (again, I have never done that as well.) Time was ticking and in that I made my frustration way too vocal.

And the sweetheart that she is, keeping my best interest in mind, did this. Love you so much for it.

And then I slept over it all weekend. And the stubborn person that I am, decided to get back to it. Lets not stop this thing we started!!!

She might kill me after all. But maybe she loves me enough to understand. Or maybe she would contribute by writing a few more posts for me!!

Rules are a little different though. I would be skipping the weekend. And that’s because I will be out of Bangalore. So people, we are back to where we started!!

Can stop the thing we started..! Post 18

2010-06-19T22:22:00.003+05:30

I remember Iya telling me that when she is sitting under a truckload of work, no time to breathe, and all damn milestones were to be met yesterday, she feels an urge to blog. This is not because she wants to run away from work, but because it is her biggest (well almost) stress buster. So in her busiest of days when she did not have time to come out for a cup of coffee, I could see an update in the mail that thewhiterain has updated her blog.

By now you all would have understood this is not Iya writing this post. I am Iya’s friend (I hope this stays after she reads this), and no other description is important. (Because if you don’t like what I am going to write here, I don’t want the curses to be directed to me :))

So people, this stress buster is fast converting into a stress in itself. What was a pleasure before and came straight from the heart, is on the todo list now. EOD for us in this industry meant before next morning and if required one stretches at night, but this milestone is stringent. Clock strikes twelve and you have missed an important deadline. And Iya wants to be home early on weekend nights, which are our biggest unwinding time of the week, to complete what she has started. Someone remember Julie and Julia?

So here I am writing this post (I have hacked her account, easily guessed her password, will pay a price soon) to make an announcement that Iya will be discontinuing NaBloPoMo. This does not mean much to anyone of us except her sadly. Because we love to read her “straight from the heart” posts and it does not matter to us if they come once a day or once a week. We do NOT want her to blog if it means stress and formality. So Iya, kudos for the heroic attempt :D but stop it now and get back to your usual self. And go back to freaking out on your weekends.. movies, dinners, and Naturals.. and sleep! Take care. Love you!

Be careful when you wish for who knows it might just come true - Post 17

2010-06-18T19:15:00.004+05:30

There are times in life when we wish for things without even realizing what will happen if those wishes come true.

In one of those angry moments when I was very hurt I wished that this friend who was responsible for everything, suffered as well.

It happened way back. Back when nothing used to be trivial. Back when the biggest joys and biggest sorrows were something I would consider inconsequential now.

And after a few years, I had made peace with it. I had brought things to closure. We were friends again. Forgive, forget and shut it.

And then this friend suffered and suffered some more. On her own hands and on the hands of someone she loved.

It then struck me very hard. I was reminded of the vague wish I had made years ago. Was her suffering my doing? Had god finally listened to me? After years?

How much do we know the people we think we know? Post 16

2010-06-17T16:32:00.003+05:30

This incident took place a couple of years back while I was working in my first organization. There was this guy in the office who sat like 5 cubicles away. By virtue of being on the same floor and part of the same group I knew him pretty well. He seemed like a very professional, confident and normal person.

Till, we saw news about him in the leading newspapers of being arrested on the grounds of domestic violence. Shocking it was. Not just to me, but to a lot of other folks in office. I didn’t pass any judgment but all logic said that he might have been actually beating his wife, till she had enough and sought help. The report said that neighbors had intervened when her cries had become unbearable. She was bruised and not just physically but mentally and emotionally too.

That’s when I realized that the types who hit their wives were regular people. No they didn’t have horns, neither a sign which said “stay away or I could harm you”. They are educated and as regular as you and me. The monster within is safely hidden. During the day they walk the planet like any other person, getting through the daily chores and responsibilities. It’s only behind the locked doors that they get creepy and slimy. They do the unthinkable and without remorse. And the very next moment they are normal again. There is no give away. There is no guilt.

Yes, we really don’t know that people we think we know. The monster remains hidden.

Has technology made us lame?? Post 15

2010-06-16T23:40:00.003+05:30

Like I don’t remember more than 3 phone nos. And if someday the phone conks off, I really wouldn’t know what to do? Not that I haven’t lost phone before, but it has been a struggle to get all the contacts again. Back in the days of only landline phone, I could rattle nos like no ones business. Not just of the obvious ones but of vague ones as well like my mom’s friends driver’s home telephone number.

And now, barring like 3-4 numbers I don’t remember any other!!

Second example is of spellings. Now if not for the spell check feature on Ms Word, half my documents would be utter trash. I have become so complacent while typing that I just don’t bother if a “i” or a “e” is out of place, knowing for sure that my word editor will correct it.

(Very recently I realized that the Auto spell check of my name becomes “Ivy”, that is after a colleague kept sending mails addressed to some Ivy)

There are numerous other things as well, like I don’t even remember when was the last time sent someone a birthday greeting? We wish people on FB and the job is done.

I can think of more, but I need to publish this post right now as its already 12:45 pm and I can’t skip another day!!!

What do you think? Can you come up with more examples?

Girlie Wisdom from the males!! Post 14

2010-06-15T14:36:00.002+05:30

Disclaimer: This post was written in the state of immense sleepiness and tiredness last night. I had no intention of missing one more day and hence decided to scribble something. Please feign ignorance to blatant spelling and grammatical and mental errors.

Over dinner with friends the other day, the conversation conveniently steered towards woman and their clothing.

A particular guy complained that he was ragged big time by his 12 year old niece when she asked him to get her some spaghetti tops from France, and he asked what they were. I actually don’t blame him. Aman and I have been together for almost 7 years now and his knowledge of what I wear ends at “Sexy” or “Not so Sexy”.

So then the game started, in a group comprising of 7 girls and just 2 guys, it was an absolute laugh riot. The idea was to use logic!!

Now here are a few definitions these guys came up with.

Tube Top – it’s a top, so obviously worn on the upper part of the body. It’s like a tight mini skirt, too tight to be worn as a skirt, therefore it’s worn as a top.

Tank top – A top just like a tank, specialized in storing more content than it appears to be storing!!

Spaghetti top – A top, that hangs on spaghetti like straps

Halter top – a top “altered” in a manner that makes the guy’s heart beat halt!!

Corset – it’s like a closet, keeping things safe!!

There were more, but those hang on the edge decency, so will skip them.

My mom and her maid – Post 13

2010-06-14T16:29:00.001+05:30

I fail to understand the fixation my mom has with her maid. Actually not just her maid, she has a fixation with my maid as well.

The first question on my daily call to her is inevitably “Maid came?” followed by “Cook came?” No mom, they didn’t and what will you sitting hundreds of miles away?

I know what she will do; she will curse her if she didn’t come. After all, the darling daughter will have to do the work.

So maid is a very integral part of my mom’s life. Each time I speak to her, the maid gets a mention. Either she was very good that day, or she was bad. Either she did some extra work without asking, or she didn’t finish her work!!

Sample Conversations:

Mom – Radha came late today

Me – Mom I am in Singapore

Mom – Good, I almost thought she won’t come.

Me – ok, I am running late for my meeting with the Chairman of my company

Mom – Oh, so I scolded Radha and she almost replied back

Me – Mom, I if I don’t make it on time he will fire me

Mom – Don’t worry, but Radha has become very rude!!

Me – Mom, I just got ran over by a bus

Mom – Oh, but how can Radha be so rude??

And the story goes on………

Random mumblings of a confused mind. Post 12

2010-06-13T21:40:00.001+05:30

No matter how much I travel, each time I am about to leave for the airport, I still get that sunken feeling in the pit of my stomach. Like there will be something amiss happening. There is always this thought of calling the boss and telling him that I am almost dead and therefore can’t do this trip. But some things “have to be done” and travelling on work surely tops that list.

Sleep is another aspect that is totally screwed up while I am oversees. I sleep with the lights switched on and with TV playing as well. I have this major phobia of sleeping alone. So with TV on, I get the feeling that there is someone in the house. Also, I need to be fully aware of the surrounding and therefore the lights are kept on all night. With TV I have to be extra careful to ensure I tune it to some safe channel. Like some sport or some cartoon. Now what if they start showing some horror movie and I suddenly wake up to see some gory images!!! Night mare!!

Now why am I talking about all this today? That’s because I am sitting at the airport waiting to board my flight to Singapore. I will be gone for a couple of days. And didn’t want to skip writing a post.

So tomorrow’s update will be from Singapore la!!!

Nothing like sweet nothings!! Post 11

2010-06-12T20:55:00.002+05:30

Pre Script: Yesterday was this mad mad day. and so I couldn’t write a post. Are we allowed a few life lines in the NaBloPoMo? I hope we are. I really want to continue this? So veterans, do let me know if missing a day or 2 is acceptable.

Now why was yesterday mad could be anybody’s guess. My dream of taking that 1 month break seems to be getting more and more real. And if life continues at the same pace I would be taking the break sooner than I thought.

Aman time and again shows me what a wise decision I made by marrying him. Not that I have any doubts, but the guy doesn’t fail to swoon me every now and then.

So Thursday morning while I was just about to leave for work, he caught me by surprise and clicked a picture of me from his blackberry. I didn’t even bother to see how the snap had come. And almost forgot about it as soon as it was clicked.

On Friday, I saw this message from Facebook, saying Aman had tagged a picture of mine. Curiosity obviously got the better of me like it always does and I logged on to check what the guy was upto?

What I saw, made my heart skip a beat!! He had uploaded the same picture he had clicked the previous morning with the caption “Yesterday’s morning was really beautiful”. Now what does one do with that? One simply says a little prayer, thank all the gods in the world and hopes that things never change!!

P.S: I am still a bit modest so won’t put up the picture here. Those of you who I am connected on FB can obviously see the picture.

Home will be warmer from today… Post 10

2010-06-10T12:04:00.003+05:30

Because In-Laws are reaching Bangalore tonight J

This means -

I will be waking up early

I will not have to unlock the door and enter an empty home (as aman invariably comes home after me!!)

Aman and I will be on a detox for obvious reasons ;)

There will be yum paratha’s for breakfast

There will be longish Mango hogging sessions after dinner

There will be home made mango pickle

There will be more laughter in the house

There will be a lot of baby talks – for which I will not have an answer!!

There will be good food all around

There will be more talks on shifting to Delhi

There will be gifts and more

There will be an attempt to wrap up work and reach home on time

There will be packed weekends and some out of Bangalore trips

Home will be a lot happier place. I am blessed, truly. Touchwood.

No Desserts for me please - Post 9

2010-06-09T18:43:00.001+05:30

Some decisions are hard to come by. But when enough is enough, one has to take drastic steps. The pointer on the weighing scale has been moving in the wrong direction for a few years now. Finally the realization came home that I had moved to the category of “Overweight” people. And who wants to be that.

Something had to be done.

And after a lot of tears, resolve was made. Say no to SWEETS. Yeah, you read that right, I decided to be off desserts.

But considering the fact that I have a major sweet tooth, I love eating out and most weekends are spent trying some or the other new restaurant, I knew this would be a difficult job.

So the clever me decided that I won’t order any desserts for myself. I will just take a bit or two from what others are having. This way my craving would be satiated and I wouldn’t be taking in all those calories. And so began the mighty sacrifice.

But, alas, it turned out to be quite something else. How you may ask. This is how - I am out with friends. Each one orders a dessert. I don’t. But I take a bite from each. So ultimately mu intake is more than theirs.

So my taking a bite or two turns out to be such a duh!!

Who ever said sharing is a mighty good thing to do??

Even Good guys make mistake - Post 8

2010-06-08T14:52:00.003+05:30

This was my FB status message a few days back and a lot of my friends assumed it was about Aman. Fortunately it wasn’t. My guy usually doesn’t make mistakes and even if he did I wouldn’t talk about it on FB, would I?

This is about someone else. Let me explain.

Recently I met this newly wed couple. While I have known and respected the guy for a couple of years, it was the first time I was meeting the girl. The guy is a mature, intelligent and an extremely smart fellow. He is a good human being and overall a nice person to know. He is good at his work and quite ambitious. And when he announced marriage we were very happy. It was a marriage of choice and he had known the girl for a few months.

I am sure they are in love. And I am sure they are happy. But what shocked me was the “couple itself”. They were just so opposite. And not opposite in that nice way which makes one go all mush.

They were opposite in this very weird manner. While the guy is all sober and intelligent, the girl was all silly and full of giggles. I surely don’t mind people who laugh a lot, but laughing without a reason is such a put off. The girl was also definitely low on IQ, a bit of a show off and seemed like a brat. She certainly wasn’t someone I could manage a decent conversation with.

Which obviously made me think what my friend saw in her. She was good looking. But it ended at that. So did my friend get so floored by the way she looked that he didn’t bother to go beyond that? So is it that men still just want eye candy as wives? What happens when this initial fascination with looks dies down? Will then the stupidity start bothering him? And wont it be too late? What will he do when he wants to talk? Will he still enjoy the giggles as much? Well, that only time will tell, but as of now, I think he did make a mistake.

The monkey menace - Post 7

2010-06-07T13:50:00.004+05:30

That’s the most recent phenomenon that has plagued the so called up market, posh apartment I stay in.

So the security guards had warned me and had asked me to keep the doors closed. Which, of course, I forgot about.

So it was Saturday and Aman and I

were sitting on the balcony enjoying some evening tea. Suddenly I see these 2 pair of eyes staring at me from the adjoining balcony which is attached to the bedroom. I shrieked and we ran in only to realize that the bedroom door was open. The monkeys were faster than us and before we could enter the bedroom to close the door, the monkeys were comfortably sitting on the threshold.

Panic struck the Bhatia – Malhotra household. And Aman, if not more, was at least as scared. We were standing at the entrance trying to hush the monkeys out. Aman was trying to make all these scary sounds but our monkeys were just not bothered. And slowly they entered the room and started scanning the place. I ran to get a stick, but before that I clicked this picture. The picture is not very clear, after all I could do only as much with Aman pushing me to get the stick, while he was holding the fort and protecting the house.

After running around the house I finally managed to find a curtain road which could be used as a weapon to chase these animals away. But before we could do anything, one of them grabbed the All Out {yes, the one we use for mosquitoes} and the other one clutched this Mobile phone box which had the warranty card and ear phones. Having their loot in place they ran. And we couldn’t do anything.

Huh. Even monkeys are getting the better of us!!

And if this was not enough, I saw then swimming in the apartment pool the next afternoon. It was sunny and what better way to cool themselves right??

The fall syndrome. Post 6

2010-06-06T18:02:00.001+05:30

Yes, that’s what I have been suffering from since time immemorial. Ever since I can remember I have been this extremely fall prone person. As a kid, I could be often spotted with crape bandages on my ankles. My home back in Ranchi was a duplex. And I use to go up and down the stairs a number of times each day. And even then managed to trip or twist my ankle ever so often. This meant that I used to fall on the same set of staircase, which I knew like the back of my hand.

Things haven’t changed much. I walk extremely carefully as I am well aware of this tendency and yet I manage to do the mighty fall every now and then.

The most recent one was where I fell in the PVR cinemas. I was walking up the stairs, very carefully, and yet I managed to do the unthinkable. The on lookers were shocked and all I could do was laugh. You might think that my footwear choice is bad, but what will you say if I tell you that I fall even while I am wearing those Nikes. Just the other day Aman and I were at this cool restaurant having a romantic candle lit dinner. It was the beautiful Banglore night and we felt like going for a walk across the pool. So we got up, Aman was standing tall and I was on the floor. I really had no clue how I fell while getting up from the chair but I did. Don’t even ask me about the level of embarrassment.

There are way too many of such instances. Like recently when I was in Melbourne for the launch of our new centre I decided to save my company some dollars. So I doubled up as the event Emcee as well. I was wearing these awesome stilettos and was extremely careful while walking up the stage and just as I put my left foot on the stage it slipped. I felt the world come crashing. There were dignitaries, my company’s leadership, employees and media. Last place to fall you would agree. Right at that moment my hand held the podium and I stabled myself. Some people did notice what had happened but the mighty fall had been saved.

I trip and fall while walking on the plainest of the surfaces. People close to me know this well and there is always a helping hand nearby.

I think it’s time I go visit some astrologer, or maybe add another A or I to my name. Or maybe wear some precious stones. But I really need to find a solution.

Finally, I think I have arrived – Post 5

2010-06-05T18:10:00.001+05:30

In the bylanes of beautiful Bangalore, with rains in the background and cool breeze in the hair, sat a girl, sipping coffee, nibbling on a croissant, engrossed in a book. Oblivious of the surrounding. Not bothered by the stares.

Enjoying her own company.

Well, your truly has finally learnt to enjoy herself when her better half slogs hard at work. For a while I am sure I won’t be complaining!!

The wedding story - Post 4

2010-06-04T14:40:00.001+05:30

Girl: my parents agreed

Boy: mine did too

What??

No eloping, no drama, no blackmailing, no Bollywood moments??

Well that’s exactly what happened. When Aman and I decided to get married our parents were more than happy. They took charge of the situation as if they had gone all the way to find me a groom and him a bride!! No one complained. Not even that vague mammi or that chacha who loves conflicts!! Huh. What dampener.

So all my hopes of having some thrill during my wedding was gone. Now what stories would I tell my grand children? I wanted to be seen as this cool grand mom who had to fight all odds to win her prince charming. All my dreams were crushed by these ever understanding set of parents??

A day before the wedding both his and mine relatives danced away all night. I felt like going and reminding them that this was a love marriage? But they were in some different state of euphoria. Even the fact that both Aman and I were the first ones to get married in respective families and all younger cousins would follow suit did not deter them.

So much so that on the eve of the wedding I almost wanted to run away with Aman. That would have been the first of its kind? Where the bride and the groom elope with each other, while the relatives are busy dancing!!!

Now every time I meet these couples who have braved all odds to get married I feel like kicking them. They will have these lovely stories to tell. How her father house arrested her. How he was kicked out of the house. How the brother threatened the guy etc etc. and all I can do is smile!!

Of books and some thought - Post 3

2010-06-03T22:56:00.000+05:30

An evening well spent, browsing books, and then picking up a few. A couple of Jodi Picoult and one Shashi Tharoor to be precise.

Nothing works more to lift my spirits more than buying books {Well actually a few other things do too} but lets concentrate on books for the sake of this post.

So Mon and I met over coffee, browsed books, picked a few, ambled around the beautiful Indra Nagar, hogged on some delicious rolls at this quaint little eatery and spoke and spoke a lot.

And then it suddenly struck me, about bloggers, blogs and their personalities. For in Monika, you get what you read. No pretence what so ever. I have met a few other people too with whom I have interacted over blogs. Some have been a personification of their writings or rather I should say that their blogs are part of their personalities.

And then again there are people whose blog’s reek of something way too artificial. They choose to be anonymous and the picture they present is clearly of a wannabe. There are many such examples all around and since I don’t believe in conflicts I won’t mention them here.

So what drives such people? And don’t they get confused between being themselves and impersonating an image? In the longer run does the “real them” and “the put up them” gets intermingled? I won’t call all this a lie. Its aspiration I guess. And nothing wrong in aspiring, right?

Some of you who read me, know me from before. Some have come to know me after reading me. So guys, do you think there is a match between me and my blog? Honesty will help!!

So Marathon it will be.. - Post 2

2010-06-02T18:17:00.004+05:30

And no its not the Sunfeast 10K kinds, the one that a dear friend recently took and I am so proud of her. This one is more intellectual (ahhmmm..) in nature. It’s the blog Marathon.

I have decided to get onto the blogging Marathon. And no I haven’t taken the break that I was planning to. So you might wonder what gave me this gigantic idea?? Even I don’t know.

Taking this up is like adding a bit more to my already crazy days. But then what’s life without challenges.

Also, my regularity on blog has been highly sporadic so what better than a marathon to get me all writing, eh?

Monika had done this earlier and I was highly impressed. So its now time to impress myself with some consistency. She is doing it again this month along with a few other folks so I decided to join the party!!

So guys, motivate me, leave comments, and be nice. It’s no mean feat, so I need all the good wishes.

On that note ready steady go!!!

What’s with parents these days? - Post 1

2010-06-01T17:31:00.008+05:30

Disclaimer: I am not a parent, neither am I an expert, nor do I claim to be one. These observations are of a mature adult who is a little aghast by what is happening in the so called urban, upper middle class, households.

How can any one justify bringing kids to movie theaters? I see children of all age groups being subjected to movies. The most recent was spotting these little ones watching iron man and kites. Now please explain what a 4 year old will understand and take back from a movie like Kites and Ironman. Violence, sex, blood, gore and what not. Is it that the parents don’t fathom this or is it that they themselves are so desperate to watch movies that they just don’t care? Whatever be it, arrange for a baby sitter or take turns to come to a theater but please for heaven sake stop damaging your child’s mind.

I have also noticed a lot of parents employing young kids say 10 – 15 years of age to take care of their children? Now firstly, how can their conscience allow them to do so and secondly are they not worried about safety? I see this young house helper not more than 12 yrs take a toddler to play area of my building each day. And trust me it irks me no end.

Another trend that I largely see these days is that these mushrooming reality shows. Each channel has something or the other happening. Its either singing or dancing or comedy!! So stuff that was done solely for fun is now done for money. Kids are crying after being eliminated and so are these parents. Guys get a life. It’s really not worth it.

On the other end are parents who are adamant to make their child a scholar. A colleague of mine was teary eyed when her son got grade B. I guess life ends at that.

Expectations are sky rocketing. Why can’t parents let these kids be kids and grow up on their own pace. Why the rush. Why do parents want their child to be a master of all trades? Sports, studies, extra curricular.

Are they not loosing their innocence somewhere? Are parents not rushing the eventuality too soon? Is this right?

Head Head Bang Bang..

2010-05-27T18:35:00.000+05:30

Yup that’s the kinda constant feeling up there!! At least twice a week. And when enough was enough, Aman dragged me to the hospital. And when I say drag it actually was that. For the simple universal truth holds true for me as well. “I hate Hospitals”. Yes I do. Immensely. They are the most depressing places possible. The smell, the ambience, the faces, everything. It’s bad enough to even make a healthy person feel SICK.

And the doctor after all the checkup and tests confirmed what I always knew but kept pushing out of my mind. I suffer from migraine. Terrible one at that. So another feather to my unhealthy hat. Grrrr.

Looks like everything around me is getting the better of me. Doctor asked me to relax. Pray, explain how one does that? He asked me to take less stress. Again, who in the world takes stress. Isn’t that something that happens on its own?

Whatever, but I am seriously contemplating taking a month off from work. Going on a sabbatical. Going home to mum. Doing nothing. Maybe it will help, maybe it won’t. It’s not a solution for sure. But maybe its worth a try.

On another note - I am also suffering from the empty nest syndrome, although of a different kind. Younger sister has moved up north. After being together for the last year it’s very difficult to be in the house without her. We still address the room as “her room”. I really hope and pray that sooner than later we shift to the same part of the country where she is. People send in your good wishes.

Why be rude..

2010-05-04T15:32:00.000+05:30

When smile can do? No really, why?

This is why I say so:

My return flight from Singapore to Bangalore was completely full. For obvious reasons I couldn’t do e check in, which meant that my getting a good seat was left to chance. And when one leaves things to chance, the worse usually happens. So I was given the center seat in the middle aisle. I was tired and all I could think of was reaching home on time.

So I boarded and settled down with a book. On one side was a middle aged gentleman. The other seat was empty but not for too long. After a few seconds, a huge middle aged woman walked in. When I say huge I mean really huge. I am not being judgmental here. Her size was really really big. Big enough to ensure that half her shoulder was on my seat, her legs were in-front of my foot rest, and the center arm rest was lifted up to accommodate her.

She looked visibly uncomfortable in settling in. And like any other person I too felt bad for her. So I decided to make as much space for her as I could. Just after we had taken off, she suddenly turned to me asking me to keep my hands to myself. I was shocked. I really couldn’t believe my ears. I smiled and said I was on my seat, to which she replied that my elbows were jamming into her. I was stunned enough to forgo a reply.

Now if you are so fat to be on half the seat of your co-passenger, how can you even complain? Here I was, mighty uncomfortable, but still sitting politely to ensure that she was all right. And that’s what I get. Grrrrr.

Bang Bang Bangkok

2010-04-05T10:47:00.002+05:30

Now what happens when you are stranded in a place like Bangkok in between 2 flights? Add to it the fact that you are all alone, the Laptop refuses to start, the hotel looks totally uninviting and the head is buzzing with ideas.

So what if you have just landed after a 9 hours flight? So what if you haven’t slept for 3 nights? So what if all your body needs is sleep and rest. So what if the heat and humidity is completely unbearable. When have all these been a deterrent to a “lady on mission”?

That’s exactly what happened last week. On my way back from Melbourne to Bangalore, I had more than a 10 hours halt at Bangkok. Landed, cleared immigration, took a visa, reached the hotel, slept for 1 hour and lo behold, I was all set to undergo the therapy that works like none.

After a quick round of investigation I closed down on 3 shopping destinations. After all there is only as much one can cover in half a day. Well fed and armed with the essentials i.e. lots of Thai Bhat, a cold water of bottle, sun glasses, flat footwear, and focused mind, I was raring to go.

What transpired in between is any girls guess. 8 pair of footwear, 5 Bags, 5 skirts, 30 plus tops, 2 dozen odd accessories, few jackets, some sleepwear, a empty pocket and really heavy bags.

And I am not kiddin’ when I say heavy. Heavy to the extent that my fingers were swollen after a while. I had to remove my rings to give way to the swelling. But when the heart is determined who cares about a bit of pain.

Finally, I had to get back to the airport, not because I thought I had shopped enough but because I didn’t want to miss my flight back home. By now my fingers were as thick at sausages, numb with pain and totally lifeless. So the only way to carry the bags was on my fore arms. Yes, I looked demented, a spectacle worth a laugh. But who cares, behind the layer of pain was a very happy heart.

Writing this today, as fingers took a while to get back to normal. Happy and content and the pain is now gone, but the gain is there to stay!!!

Of Relationship and interests

2010-02-26T11:35:00.001+05:30

Cometh the long weekend and off we go to the beautiful forests of Nilgiris. Holi coupled with the weekend is the perfect excuse. Add to it the fact that both Aman and me have been travelling for a while and have not been able to spend as much time together as we would have liked to. So this is the perfect opportunity to escape.

It’s said that couples should cultivate common interests to enhance their relationship. I am really not sure about the cultivating part. As we never had too. We both love travelling and we both are spontaneous with our travels. We love eating out and experimenting with various cuisines. And once in a while we both get down to cooking together. We love the water and swimming is another thing we do together. We love shopping. So we head out together and then go to respective sections only to meet again at the trail rooms. Life looks all set.

We haven’t made efforts to imbibe each others interests, but we have found a way around it. Like in his free time he watches TV and I stick to my laptop. So we sit together but do different things. He is loves playing and my only association with sports is watching it. So I watch when he plays.

We both read, he likes economics, business and strategy, and I stick to fiction. But atleast we go pick books together.

I am sure there are people out there who make a lot of effort to pick up a hobby just for the sake of their partner. We didn’t, coz we didn’t have to. We had our common interests and we had our not so common interests. And we like it that way. For once, I really don’t understand how someone can read all possible business magazines each month and he really doesn’t understand how I can be fixated with Farmville. But so be it.

It might be important for couples to enjoy stuff together. But it’s equally important to have some varied interests as well. Now if 2 people were just the same won’t 1 be wasted?

Long live Twitter!!

2010-02-25T11:20:00.001+05:30

Thanks to a bunch of awesome guys I am following on twitter, I could live my moments of history yesterday. Yes, I am talking about the beautiful innings Sachin played. I mean 200 runs in an ODI. This is exceptional and I have a feeling that this record won’t be broken that easily. It was like God himself was thrashing the SA bowlers all over. It was poetry in motion.

All kinds of cricket sites are blocked in office. The popular ones and the vague ones. Everything. There is absolutely no way of knowing the score. I usually call Aman or dad to find out the latest.

But yesterday was different. Although I shall regret not watching this live for a long long time to come, I nevertheless felt the excitement and the tension, sitting right here in office, thanks to twitter.

The countdown started when Sachin was at 185. And then each ball was broadcasted on twitter, in those 140 words. With anti-jinxes, nervous 190’s, slamming Dhoni, it was like seeing everything live.

With hashtags such as #sachinisgod, #sachin, #cricket, it wasn’t difficult to keep track of what was happening in Gwalior.

Thanks to @meIHM @SupriyaMM @confusedsoul @theevilp @manuscrypts @kushanmitra @trailblazr @hitchwriter for making me live those awesome moments!!!

So what have I been up to??

2010-02-24T17:32:00.001+05:30

Primarily work which kept me super busy. Then some travelling, first to Delhi and Punjab and then to Ranchi. A wedding in between and then some more trips to Singapore and Thailand.

And in between all this there were some brave decisions taken as well. Some doors were knowingly closed with the hope that there will be opportunities in the future as well. At the same time knowing very well that such things don’t happen too often in life.

But for love, everything seems worth while. Such moments make the bond all the more stronger.

I am visiting my blog after ages today. Thanks to all those who checked on me while I was gone. While I didn’t write anything for the past so many months, I also gave reading my favorite blogs a skip. And yes I missed it.

So when is the right time baby

2009-09-14T14:33:00.006+05:30

I am confused.

Do bells ring? Or is it the voice inside? Or is it the bank statement? Or is it those relatives? Or will I dream of it one fine night?

Now you are confused too, right? Well I am talking about the right time. The right time to become a parent? How will I know?

Having been married for more than 3 and half years doesn’t serve the occasion too well either. Polite questionings have long been replaced by direct and often rude enquiries from all sorts of relatives. From ducking the questions, to giving polite replies to being rude, I have been there and done that.We were never the ones to base our decisions on what some vague aunty suggested so these inquisitive relatives could very well be kept aside.

But again, how do we know we are mentally ready to for a baby? Living the kind of lives we do, where there is no time for sleep, where careers rule our lives, where we pack our bags and leave for a trip impromptu, where everything happens without a plan. So how will we know if we are ready for the change? The only way to know it is to experience it. And what if we don’t like it then?

Could my feeling very happy when a friend’s 3 years old son decides to sit on my lap be taken as an indication? Does it mean anything when I beam at seeing those little ones smile at me? Or the fact that these days I invariable end up picking up and baby talk to some little one at the mall? This is all a very new phenomenon. I was not the types who run after children.

But again, I don’t think this new change can be taken as a cue. So then how will I ever know?

When we got married we thought we would be ready to have a child in 2 years time. After all 2 years seemed enough to settle down. It’s been 3 and half years and we are still as naive about the whole thing.

Looks like I am waiting for some divine intervention. Maybe I should consult a palmist or an astrologer. So all you parents out there, how did you know that the time indeed was right? Do any of you have regrets?

Virtual meets the Real

2009-08-27T16:28:00.001+05:30

And so it happened. Without too much planning. Without going to and fro. One ping, followed by one suggestion on place and time. And lo behold, we met.

Who you may ask – our very own Monika, I say. And what a meeting it was. It was a weekday so I rushed straight from office. And was there dot on time, only to see the Red Cedia parked already. I obviously had no issues in spotting her in the crowded coffee shop. We hugged as if we were some long lost friends catching up over cup of coffee. And conversation just flew. Not even for a second there was an uncomfortable silence. Not even for a second were we stuck on what to say next. Least to say, it was delightful. The first peek at the watch shocked me no end. 2 hours had gone by and we hadn’t realized.

After meeting her yesterday, I am still wondering why it took so long. I should have met her ages back.

This was the first time I had met someone from the Blog World. I had major plans of meeting Mampi and Pinku when I had ventured to Delhi and Punjab earlier this year and unfortunately no plans materialized, thanks to the exhaustive wedding preparations from which I couldn’t pull myself away even for a few hours. I even planned meeting Mumbai Diva when I was in Bombay in May but even that didn’t work due to last minute flight changes.

Thinking about 10 years back, I would have been so closed on interacting with strangers. I would have died before following someone I didn’t know (reference to twitter). Chat and emails to people I haven’t met or didn’t know would be out of question. But now I see myself so open to these things. When I started blogging I hardly did interact with anyone. I used to sms Aman and my friend Anu and would tell them that the blog has been updated and that they should go read it. Then, almost a year back things changed, not sure how, but yeah I started opening up as a blogger. And now there are these real people most of whom I didn’t know before they left that comment or before I stumbled into their spaces. This is a world in itself and it’s a delightful place.

I was a Fish in my last birth

2009-08-07T15:27:00.002+05:30

Let me introduce you to my latest love of the purely self indulgent nature. This new found love has overtaken my life completely. You might have noticed the absence from the blog. Reading as well as writing. This time though I am not complaining.

So yes coming back to my latest fascination – its swimming. Yeah, bring it on. But first a bit of history.

Now, yours truly has never been scared of water, being a Cancerian, I guess, has nothing to do with it.

Remember I mentioned that we had moved to this fantastic new place earlier this year? So the same place along with being the incredible place it is also boasts of this awesome swimming pool. First look and I was rearing to go, there was only a slight hitch – I didn’t know how to swim. I did some frantic running around the apartment to find out if they have any plans of getting a coach but I was told no such thing was happening for quite some time. Subsequently one fine evening, when the pool looked way too inviting I decided to jump. I was of course accompanied by a friend who knew how to swim, quite well. Some emotional atyachar later she agreed to teach me. 2 days of coaching is what I got from her. And then as always work overtook my life and swimming was forgotten.

Then about 3 weeks back, the urge to jump into the pool came back. This time I had dear friend, who now also happens to be my neighbor, for company. Since then I have gone for a swim each day (ok, I did miss twice) irrespective of what time I get back home and in-spite of how cold and windy the weather is. I don’t remember when was the last time I got so crazy about doing something. I am rather proud of myself as 2 days of coaching and another 2 days of splash splash, and lo behold, I know how to swim.

Yes I picked up the trick, and I am able to swim rather well now. Freestyle and backward both. And yes I am able to finish vertical laps as well, about 10 – 15 of them.

The way I feel when in water is nothing less than euphoric. Floating backwards, staring at the stars with cool breeze on my face. Ecstasy!! There is this constant chlorine smell in my nose. As evening approaches I start getting restless, itching to get away from everything and go to the pool. Usually the earliest I land up there is like 9ish. And once in I am the happiest. It’s magical. I wonder how I stayed away from water for so long!! It’s a blessing that I have K for company who if not more is at least as passionate about swimming. Aman too joins in but mostly only on weekends.

So right now it’s going great. For a change I am shutting my laptop and heading to the pool each day. That will explain the lack of new posts. This new obsession has earned me quite a few new nicknames as well which I will not divulge for obvious reasons.

So that was about my latest crush, do you too have one?

Of Birthday, Books and the time went by:

2009-07-23T19:20:00.006+05:30

Last week was such a glorious one for the mighty me had her birthday on the 14th and since it was a weekday, the better half went all that way to ensure that festivities weren’t any less.

He started bestowing me with gifts much in advance. Shopping for Books and Footwear followed. Sunday breakfast at Koshy’s. Another round of shopping at Fab India. Mid night cake cutting in a candle lit balcony. Another round of cake cutting in office, followed by a sumptuous lunch treat in La Casa. Evening was spent partying at home. A small group of good friends, music, food, bubbly - you know the essentials. Aman took an off while I had to slog it out at work. His premise – “it’s my wife’s birthday and I want to have fun”. Although most part of his day too was spent in preparations for evening.
And life did look quite rosy. The week was made even more beautiful with some added shopping escapades with some fabulous dinners. Thanks Aman for making it so lovely.

I have been procrastinating about writing for way to long now. And thanks to this new addiction called twitter, blog has taken a back seat. So for all those who have been missing me, follow me here on twitter.

Coming to Books:
Among finishing other books I also managed to read Bringing up Vasu, by Parul Sharma. I usually don’t do reviews but this one time I do want to write a bit about this one solely because Parul is the first person I know who has a book to her name :). I have been reading her blog for a few months now and I feel I owe this to her.

Bringing up Vasu is a very good first time effort. The blurb of the book does full justice in telling the reader what to expect.
Let’s first talk about what I didn’t like and then move to what I loved about the book. It’s nice to end at positive note you see.

Firstly for a non mum like me there is just too much poop in the first half of the book. While I am sure that, the poop is the reality of life and sooner or later even I will have to face it, somehow reading about it didn’t excite me all that much.
Secondly, at some and I insist only at some instances the humor was a tad bit forced.

Leaving these 2 things aside the book is a very nice light read, for mums as well as non mums who might some day decide to become one. The book is funny and energetic. It has its share of moments that tug at your heart, like when the protagonist decides to take up a assignment and leave her new born in the hands of maid. Her dilemma, her confusion and her paranoia, I am quite sure all working mothers go through it. The book is about her aspirations to be this cool super mom which again, I think, a lot of women would want to be. The book is about how she wants the best and only the best for her son.
This book is also a must read for men who have these splendid notions that children are all hunky dorky and fun to be with. I do plan to force Aman to read it as well.

There are these letters that the mum has written to her son on completion of each quarter and they are an absolute delight to read. Parul ends the book in a manner which tells me that a sequel is in the offering. This genre of Indian writing is new, as I haven’t come across a book on similar lines.
Parul – kudos to you for pulling this off. I am sure we can wait for more.

http://orangeicecandy.blogspot.com/2009/07/bloggings-better-thannot.html

2 Sisters and no Brother, God be with your parents.

2009-07-06T23:57:00.006+05:30

Among the innumerable happy and carefree memories I have of my childhood there is also one gloomy memory that is quite engraved into my mind.

Having been brought up in a small town like Ranchi has had its own share of discomforts. Most of it, I never experienced. Thanks to the warm and loving family I have, Neha and me have had a very protected, lighthearted, affectionate and independent upbringing.

Coming to the point of this post, the most common childhood question I have been asked by every adult I met for the first time is “How many brothers and sisters you have”, my reply would be “I have a younger sister”. My response had always been followed by a quick “what? No brother, oh no, poor parents, 2 girls to marry off”
The adult could be anyone – friend’s parents, new neighbors, some vague acquaintances and sometime some god forsaken relatives. But the line of questioning was always similar.
Not only me, even my younger sister Neha has faced a lot of these. This one question followed by a quick dismissal and then the pity has made me go through a gamut of emotions. From the initial confusion to irritation to anger to rage to the ultimate indifference. If anything this probing left me a little more determined to make a mark.

This was outside. At home it was a very different scene. Our little family was picture perfect. Neither mom nor dad ever seem perturbed that they had only 2 daughters and no sons. This fact never bothered them. In fact in more occasions than one I had seen them shut people up when they started the usual course of “Oh Mr/Mrs Bhatia, but why didn’t you try for a third child, didn’t you feel a need for a son?”

So when we weren’t bothered why were others? When my mom was happy with 2 girls, when my dad was proud of his 2 daughters, when neither Neha nor I felt the need of having a brother, why was the society so concerned?

Today, both of us are doing well. I am well educated, have a good career and am poised to do even better. I am financially independent and happy in life. Neha is all set to follow suit, having just completed her MBA. How is it any different from a family which had 2 sons? Now the same old folks come and congratulate my parents on the having the proverbial “well brought up children”.

Why I say this today is because I saw the familiar story unfold in front of my eyes. I thought the world had changed. But be in the 1989 or the 2009, be it Ranchi or Bangalore, something’s remain unchanged. In the play ground of my apartment, I saw a 5 year old subjected to the same line of questioning. The little one, who had an infant sister, was visibly unsure of what she had said that had made the aunty so abject, simply shrugged and went off. I smiled, because I saw yet another independent and confident lady in the making.

Of Swine Flu

2009-07-01T15:52:00.002+05:30

How could I forget writing about this, damn me. It’s totally outdated now but like heck I need to write it. So please bear with me.

Some of you know that I went to Sydney this May. I was there for about a week. My return flight was via Bangkok and instead of coming straight to Bangalore I had to change my flight at Mumbai.

Now there have been confirmed cases of Swine Flu in Australia. Considering I was coming back from there I was sure there will be some major delay at Mumbai Airport in order to do a check up. Add to it the fact that I had a stop over at Bangkok too, which also had had a few cases.

Reality how ever was quite different. At Mumbai International airport I was given a form which had a few random questions like - have I been to a infected country, did I come across someone who has swine flu, do I have fever and cold etc. barring the 1st one I answered no to all.
After submitting the form the guard on duty scanned me up and down and then declared me healthy. Just like that. I was authorized safe to roam about the city. That took my goat. What if I really had the virus? Wasn’t a through check needed, what if I hadn’t said the truth? Was my saying so enough to let me go?

This was back in May; I hear that situation is better now. Not sure as my experience was quite vague. Anyone else who has had some similar experiences?

June Update

2009-06-29T16:43:00.001+05:30

It’s been a hectic and busy month. Work showed no respite, it never does, I guess its time I should stop hoping too.

Aman’s side of the family came visiting. And like good hosts we packed them all and took them to Coorg. (Pics are up on FB and Orkut, one on the header up there). Lush, green and raining. The heat tortured souls from North of the country couldn’t have asked for anything more. We stayed in the interiors of Coorg, in the midst of the coffee plantations. Lovely food, awesome weather and the most scenic surroundings. It was picture perfect.

We also did a quick 2 day trip to Chennai. For the uninitiated, the Bangalore – Chennai highway is splendid, be it the road or the landscaping. Parts of it are quite a delight. Chennai was horrible. I am sure the city is nice, but the weather was pathetic, and that for me is such a put off. For that reason I truly couldn’t enjoy it. It was sticky and humid and hot. You know the kinds where your own hair and skin irritate you.

For the good deed of the month – I forgo my official tour to Singapore to be with Aman’s side of the family. Now isn’t he lucky to be married to me?

For the highlight of the month – Younger sister has finally moved to Bangalore, bag and baggage. If you remember I was upset a while back and this was the reason. But now she is here and I couldn’t have been happier.

And yes, for the achievement of the month, I have learnt swimming. As in I have moved ahead from just the playful splash splash. I still have a long way to go, but who says I can’t rejoice small achievements.

I have missed blogging and reason being the lack of time. I have also missed reading a lot of your blogs, but I am doing the catching up. Bear with me all.

Some gentleman I must say

2009-06-16T10:57:00.001+05:30

After my previous experience with Sakaal Times printing my blog post without permission, even small gestures of asking permission mean a lot.

I got a mail the other day from this guy called George. He runs a website called http://www.age-better.com/. He was in the process of writing a review of this restaurant called Grasshopper in Bangalore that I so love. I had written about it a long time back.

He wanted to refer my blog url as part of his article and also use the picture. He could have done it and I wouldn’t have even realized. But no Sir, the guy duly wrote asking me if he could use my review. Of course I agreed. Feeling nice about his nicety.

And I am almost famous

2009-06-10T17:13:00.003+05:30

One of my posts written in January has been picked up by Sakaal Times, and has been printed in their print newspaper.
This is the link to that old post.

Now Sakaal Times picked up the post, changed the title from Hindi to English and printed it verbatim. They have mentioned my name and my blog url.
Here is the link and below is the snapshot.

Now you may ask me, how in June, I discovered something that had happened in January. The reason is that the narcissist in me got active suddenly and I googled my blog url to discover this.

Now if you ask me, I don’t really mind. But it would have been polite of them to have mailed me seeking permission. Ok, permission is too strong a word, but maybe they could have at least informed me? Nah, don’t you think so too?

Now since I had to do something about it, I put it on twitter. Thereafter I mailed them, to which they haven’t replied yet. I also called their offices but couldn’t speak to anyone who would take responsibility.

Its ok, I don’t feel this is big enough to take up a fight.
Just wanted to share with my blog buddies my new celebrity status!!! LOL..now don’t grin.

It’s sometimes nice to fall sick...

2009-06-04T15:15:00.004+05:30

...that is if you have someone like I have who absolutely pampers you.
So me down with some stomach infection. The pain started yesterday. We have been using Bisleri water dispenser for last 3 years for our drinking and cooking water purpose.
Since I haven’t eaten any outside food in 2 days, this infection has to be attributed to water.
The moment Aman realized he got into action. A Eureka Forbes guy was called to come and install their latest RO water purifier. 15k spent just like that, but I love it :)

Since yesterday I didn’t sleep well (for the pain was killing me), today morning he woke up before I could and before our morning helps come in. We haven’t figured out a way of switching off the door bell. So before anyone could ring the bell, Aman was up and had the main door open. Maid came and was instructed not to enter my room for cleaning. The cook was asked to cook very quietly without making too much noise with the utensils.

I woke up on my own, to realize that Aman was late for his office. Steaming cup of tea and breakfast in the bed followed. And then medicines. He was late for work but didn’t leave till I was done with eating. There after he tucked me in the bed, gave me my laptop with the warning that I will take rest. He stocked the table with supply of food and then left for work.

So is it wrong if I say I am enjoying being sick. Am I mad?

Ps – I am under the influence of pain killers, so I might have just rambled. And I don’t feel like going through the post to edit it. Please don’t leave nasty comments!!

Airports are strange places..

2009-05-25T14:31:00.001+05:30

Airports are strange places. So are railway station and bus stops. But for the sake of completion of this post, I will be limiting my observations to Airports.

Airports are like tossed salad. Of what you may ask, of EMOTIONS says Professor Iya.

Sitting in the lounge, and too tired to go shop in the duty free store, I had an amazingly interesting time noticing people

- A young girl and a young boy. The girl still has her Mehndi intact and so are her Churhas. She mustn’t have been married for more than a week. All excited. Boarding pass tightly clutched. The boy on the other hand looks so love struck. He is unable to take his hands and eyes off her. No points of guessing that this is one smitten newly married couple off to their honeymoon.

- Exactly next to them is this group of 3 men must be in their early 40’s, engaged in some very energetic discussion. They are dressed in formals. Each pause from the discussion is spent in stealing a glance to the blackberry’s.

- At a little distance is this old lady, sitting anxiously. From the look of it, I think she is traveling outside India for the first time. She has her hand bag clutched close to her chest. Has to be a mother who is going to meet her child settled far far away.

- Then there is this lady sitting right next to me, busy giving instructions on the phone. It’s to her husband is my guess. All mechanical, without a single iota of emotions. Mundane stuff. She is finishing her duty before she looses connectivity for some hours.

- There is this couple standing in one corner, in a heated argument. They are trying to keep their voices low but still it’s evident that they are fighting. To save them the embarrassment I quickly look away but not before seeing accusing look the lady is giving the man.

- There is this man, must be in his 30’s and an elderly couple with him. My guess, it’s his parents. He is going all out to make them comfortable. He gets them coffee. He is constantly talking to them, trying to explain stuff (so it feels from his gestures). On the other hand this couple looks cheerless. As if they are being forced to leave the place that they so love and go somewhere else.

Then there are some lone travelers like me. Either on the phone, or immersed in a book or tapping away on a laptop.

In a radius of a few meters I see love, romance, monotony, career aspirations, fear, regret, hatred and a lot more.
Each one is traveling for a different purpose. Some happy, some not so happy. That’s life. We start and end at the same point but go through something so unique in the midst. That’s what makes it special and that’s what makes it worth it.

And I don’t know what to do..

2009-05-23T13:58:00.002+05:30

(You might want to skip this post, its depressing)

I think I am loosing my mind. I haven’t been this angry and irritated in months. Someone very close and very important to me (and before you jump to conclusions, it’s not AMAN) is driving me up the wall. Reasoning and logic are not getting me anywhere with her. I have never seen her so adamant before. It’s like banging my head against a rock.
I have tried being soft, being conversationalist. I have tried talking to her. I have had zillion discussions. But nothing seems to work.

She is just not ready to understand. She is hearing but not listening. And she is not talking. She is speaking but not talking. There has to be a reason but she insists there is none. If she doesn’t have a reason why can she just agree to what I am saying.

I am unable to take my mind off all this. I tried thinking of the nicer stuff, getting immersed in work and then IPL. But this is like a constant thought knocking my head off. Last week has been so heavy. It’s like letting the wrong happen. And watching it.

Love comes to Darling Harbor

2009-05-20T18:40:00.001+05:30

I have realized that I suck at writing travelogues. Have tried a number of times before but haven’t yet finished any. And if you don’t write a travel update as soon as you get back it looses its Zing. My draft folder shows me this reality.

Coming to what I wanted to share with you folks through this post is what I saw at Sydney’s Darling Harbor. Now Darling harbor as the name suggests is this nice place along one of Sydney’s water front, replete with Cafes, Restaurants and Bars. Throw in the museum and the theater and it’s a perfect place to spend the evening.

After a long day I was etching for good sea food and I landed there. While walking towards this particular Italian restaurant I saw this guy not more that 16-17 years of age, busy putting up a floor mat right on the landing of the steps that lead to water. There were also a couple of boxes next to him. Me being me, thought to myself “now who the hell will come and buy things from him at this late hour”. Thinking that and not any more I went ahead.

The meal was fantastic. Delicious and plush. The satiated me had to get back to the hotel and I took the exact same path to get to the taxi stand. And then what I saw moved me beyond words.

The same guy had now set up the place. The floor mat now had a comfy mattress on it. It was lined by beautiful candles all around it. There were flowers all over. There was a small table and on that stood a tall bottle of wine and 2 glasses. And there he sat with his girl, hand in hand, her head on his shoulder, staring into the water, oblivious to people like me standing awestruck behind them.

It was one of the most beautiful sights I had seen in Sydney. I stood there for a good minute before realizing that I was in fact being a spectator to someone’s very special moment. Thereafter I walked off with a very obvious smile on my face.

Quick Update.

2009-05-10T19:44:00.000+05:30

Off to Sydney in a couple of hours. Packing still in shambles. It’s a week long trip. Have been very busy lately and I guess some of you might have noticed my absence from the Blogsphere.
There are just too many blog posts to be read. And there is even more that needs to be written. But all that will have to wait for another week.

Tata for now. Miss me friends!!

Chicken Biryani Conquered

2009-04-29T10:23:00.002+05:30

I have never in my life made chicken Biryani. I haven’t even seen one being made. Basically my relationship with chicken Biryani is that of a completely finished product.
Add to that the fact that both Aman and me completely drool over this dish. And since Bangalore has some awesome places which make out of this world Biryani, it never struck me that I should try my hand at cooking this dish.

Now this Thursday I had this brilliant brain wave where I felt like cooking Chicken Biryani myself. It was one of those days when I behave like one overtly devoted wife and want to pamper my pati dev no end. When I suggested the same to him he almost fell of his chair. There was this stunned expression on his face. Not that I am a bad cook and all that.

The reason which he then explained to me in the most earnest way was that he absolutely loves Chicken Biryani and he couldn’t let me play with his deep affection for the same. What if it didn’t come out well, what if it didn’t taste good, what if I forced him to eat it no matter how it tasted, aah too many questions!!!

I couldn’t believe my ears. How could he question my culinary skills? Not that I am an out of this world cook but then I am not bad too. In fact I am quite good, or so the people who have tasted my creations can say (I am fishing for compliments, Anu, Kanu and Nidhi, listening??)

So the wounded me, wiped the silent tear and got down to making Rajma Chawal, which by the way was oh so delicious. (I am not bragging, Aman plz tell them!!!). With this Aman thought that the Biryani tale would be over for good. But me had better ideas.

The very next day, after office I straight went to the nearest mall to buy chicken. Now this is something I have never done before for the reason that I can’t stand the smell.
This time I had a reason and even the smell couldn’t deter me. After having taken a thorough tutorial on “How to make Chicken Biryani” from a friend (god bless her), I was all set.
Aman usually comes home very late, so the idea was to make it, taste it and shove it in the dustbin if it wasn’t good.
If it was good then present it with all the fanfare.

But on this day he decided to come home on time, and with that he caught me in the process on making it. His expressions changed; the same incredulous look. But being the nice soul he is he silently stepped out of the kitchen muttering a hushed prayer.
Post that, I got on to the Biryani with a rejuvenated vengeance. Finally after an hour of sweating and puffing the “Biryani” was ready. And it did look quite good. I wish I had clicked some pictures!!!

I served and waited, and he took his time to come to the dinning table (for obvious reasons). He sat, my hear skipped a beat. He tasted and I almost fainted. And then he smiled, ah that lovely smile and then he hugged me. He said it was delicious. Had he not seen me making it he wouldn’t have believed I could have made it.
Woah, what a relief!!! And then I ate some too and trust me guys it was awesome.

So, who wants to eat the Iya special Chicken Biryani??

My new Abode.. (Picture Post)

2009-04-16T11:13:00.016+05:30

This post is long overdue. Thanks to T and P for reminding me to do this.
The new home is doing wonders to my system. There is this positive energy about the place which has me all pepped up. Touchwood!!!
There is a lot to be done to do up the place. Right now we have the basic structure in place. I will be gradually doing up the house like I want to. Aman has put a budget freeze on any house expenditure for a while. There is a reason for that too which I will share with you eventually.

Lets start with how the setting sun appears from my balcony!!

The first one is the view from the living room balcony and the second is the view from the bedroom balcony.

This is the drawing room and the dining room (notice the curtains !!!)

That’s the sitting area.. The opening on the left is the kitchen

And this is the master bedroom

And these are my prized paintings!!!

I just realized I have no pictures on the Kitchen and the other bedroom.

So this is where I now live. I know a lot has to be done. My drawing room desperalty needs a new rug and some fancy settees. Those cane chairs are actually meant for the balcony.
But like I said its budget freeze as of now as something big will happen soon!!! Keep guessing!!!

Updated - as an afterthought why don’t you all pick it up as a tag. Its simple, take the reader through a virtual tour of your house!! Give it shot.

The monkey is off my back

2009-04-08T10:00:00.001+05:30

After moving to the new house, I had a brilliant brain wave.
I wanted a 24/7 house help. Although both Aman and me work and we spend all day in office, we don’t have any kids and neither do our parents stay with us. But still. I thought it would be great to have someone in the house to completely take care of the place.
Family and friends tried talking me out of this. They had their reasons of security, considering we were not in the house all day. Some spoke of privacy.
I had the basic set up in place. A maid that came and cleaned in the morning, a cook that came and did the cooking at night and an iron fellow who came and took the clothes each day. That’s most a household of 2 needs.

But the stubborn me wanted a 24/7 help. Some fanatical searching did give some results. With help of a friend we found a boy lets call him G who was ready to come and stay with us. I was clear that I didn’t want a girl (security you see) and I didn’t want someone very small.

Now when I saw G for the first time he looked really small. Not more than 12. I was shocked. We asked his parents and they said he was 15 and had been working for 3 years.
It was difficult to believe.

Anyways. I was excited by the idea so I bought their argument. And we got him home. I didn’t do away with any of the existing help. That meant that G had little work. I couldn’t ask him to do any thing. He looked so small. The moment he arrived the discomfort started to seep in. I stated feeling guilty of having a child in the house to do the house work. All my enthusiasm of having a 24/7 help vanished. I felt sick. As if there was this heavy rock on my heart.

And then I couldn’t take it anymore. I called his brother and asked him to come and take G away. All this conspired in the span of 2 days. I had him in my house for exactly 2 days. Third day his brother came and argued as to how G was 15 years old and that he has been working for 3 years and has been doing a lot of work. Whatever said and done, even if he was 15 he was still a child and I didn’t want to get into it. My conscience was getting killed. I said sorry, gave him some extra money and sent him off.

Ps: All this happened about 3 weeks back. This post has been in drafts since then. I couldn’t bring myself to post it. I am guilty of having him in my house for even 2 days. But then this space is my mirror. And putting it here means I have done peace with myself. Please be kind to me.

1 to 10 – my life in numbers

2009-04-02T16:00:00.003+05:30

Interesting!! If life could be defined in numbers this is what my life would appear to be.
BTW this is a tag from Mumbai Diva

1 is for my one and only little sister who I adore beyond words. She is the sweetest!!

2 is for my 2 bestest friends both of whom I haven’t seen for eight months now

3 is for the number of exciting years I have spent being married to Aman. It’s also for the number of countries I have been to.

4 is for the number of cities I have lived in. It’s also for close to the number of years I have been working for

5 is for the number of delightful years I have been crazily in love with my man

6 is for the number of wine glasses I lost while shifting to the new house. 6 is also for the number of houses I have changed in Bangalore

7 is for the cell phones I have lost or broken in the last five years

8 is for my beautiful house on the 8th floor with the awesome view of the sunset

9 is for the number of years since I left school. 9 is also for the number of jewelry sets I got when I got married.

10 is for the number of Kilos I need to loose to get back in shape.

Done. Now this looks easier than it actually is. Requires a bit of thinking which I did on a hot, sleepy Thursday afternoon.

Cyn – since you complained that no one tags you, I appeal to you to take this up.
Anu – you too do it lady. One of my response refers to you too!!!
Monika – I know you love doing tags, so take it up.

Others – Like it? Pick it, and let me know. Would love to read it!!

Kiran Bedi and No Marks - II (maybe there is a reason)

2009-03-25T12:08:00.009+05:30

Aman bought this link to my notice. Thanks love.

Kiran Bedi says -
“Beauty is like spotless character and this cream redefines beauty by not making you fair, but giving good and clear skin. It is an honest product just like my causes."
She added,
"A portion from the sale of each pack will go to drug addiction and women welfare centres.”
She wants to add a hall to her drug addiction centre with the proceeds.

Maybe it makes some sense. Maybe I was too quick to write that post.

I am ok with the second statement but first one still sounds ameturish to me. Being from the marketing domain I still maintain that there is a major mismatch between the product and the brand ambassador.

Having said that, the fact that a part of the proceeds will go for a good cause is impressive. Now we have to wait and see if people will really buy the product.

I again want to reiterate that I have nothing against her; in fact I respect her for what she has been. But as a marketer I can’t help but analyze the combination.

What is wrong with Kiran Bedi?

2009-03-17T18:07:00.001+05:30

A few days back I was interviewed by UTVi for a show which is yet to make its appearance. Among a series of questions that I was asked one was if I had any female role model.
Me being me said that I don’t have a role model but one woman I admire would be Kiran Bedi. Not that I ever wanted to become an IPS officer. But because she stood for what she believed and excelled in what she did in a largely male dominated field.

Now yesterday I saw this commercial where Ms Bedi was selling the god forsaken cosmetic cream called “No Marks" - I mean what the hell was that??
I haven’t ever seen such a miss-match between the brand and the brand ambassador.

For someone who has won enough and more accolades all her life, has stood as a symbol of women lib, has done the more than half the country proud, this “No Marks” endorsement doesn’t make any sense.

Fine so everyone has the right to earn money but even then how can anyone explain this disaster.

Ms Bedi – I had titanic regards for you and I am thoroughly saddened with this act of yours. You could have chosen something better.

Gulal – this ain’t any review

2009-03-16T11:48:00.002+05:30

I don’t believe in writing movie reviews. And this post is no different.
All I am trying to do is urge my readers to go watch Gulal.
It’s worth it.

After burning holes in our pockets by buying silk curtains for the new house (that’s dope for another post!!!) Aman and I decided to unwind with some movie. It was already 6 pm and chances of getting tickets for a 7ish movie were dim. Never the less we thought of giving it a try and viola we got the tickets for a 6:30 pm show of Gulal.
After a quick shot of caffeine we went inside the theater only to find that 70 % of the seats were unoccupied. Yes 70% seats were empty in a multiplex, on a Sunday evening in the first week of movie’s release.
Wonder why? Because the movie has no Khan, no cheap humor and no larger than life star cast. The fact that the movie didn’t receive any marketing prior to its release has played such a dominant role in people ignoring it.
So the basic premise of logical thinking holds true – how ever good or bad your product is, it is of utmost importance to position it well.

Anyways, let me not digress. The idea is that although the movie has been low profile and not advertised and marketed much, it still deserves a viewing.

Anurag Kashyap is at his best. And so are Kay Kay Menon and the other guy who plays Ran Sa. (I don’t know his name and no time to Google).
Movie hits you hard. It’s a story of love, treachery, greed, passion, innocence, fear, sadism and power.

Statuary Warning:
The language is abusive so avoid taking children for obvious reasons and parents for you might get uncomfortable, and if you belong to the cadre of viewers who cannot tolerate the swear words then excuse yourselves from watching it.

For others do watch it for the awesome lyrics, mind-blowing performances and astounding story telling!!!

Little one is not so little anymore

2009-03-10T10:23:00.004+05:30

My younger sister has just started working. Now it’s a completely different story that I find it hard to believe that this little kid is going to office every day. She is yet to finish her course but the company where she got placed insisted that she start work right away. In normal circumstances her B School wouldn’t have agreed but I guess recession made them go with company’s decision.

With this all hopes of her having a good vacation at home before starting out with her corporate career came crashing down. She shifted to Mumbai the same day and joined office next morning.

Unbelievable!!! Coz for me she still remains the little one who loves to sleep. It’s hard to imagine that this brat dresses in formal business attire and reaches office on time. It’s equally hard to imagine that this little one will have her own money from next month. Now this little one is staying all by herself, managing her life on her own. Most of you wouldn’t find any big deal in that but I do because for me she still is my little girl.

This little one wants to surprise mom by getting her a new AC this summer. If this statement made me teary eyed god knows how mom will react to it.

I still clearly remember the day when she got a gold medal in Javelin throw in school. She was in Class 2 then. I still clearly remember how Dad and I dropped her for the painting competition and she made us so proud by getting the first prize. I still clearly remember the day when she wore a Sari for the first time for her school farewell and how stunning she looked. From painting lessons to being an athlete, from playing basketball to learning karate and yoga, from learning shorthand (yes even that) to being an exceptional swimmer, from trying her hand at cooking to being an excellent dancer this girl has been there and done that. Add to this the fact that she sings like a dream. With all this I had never imagined she would do well academically also.

Today when my little sister is almost an MBA and has kick started her corporate career there is no one who is happier (ok fine mom and dad are close!!!).Here is wishing her a very bright and a fulfilling career ahead.

I don’t feel happy this women’s day..

2009-03-08T02:56:00.000+05:30

I was talking to a friend a while back and she told me that during a regular shopping trip to the nearby mall with her 3 year old daughter she caught herself unconsciously being conscious about her surroundings, taking note of who was around, who was watching her, and if anyone was following her?? And guess the reason – “She was dressed in jeans and T- shirt”

Is this how we have to live? In a perennial state of paranoia? Roop says we are physically weaker so no wonder women are being treated as second class citizens. She talks about being emotionally strong. But can emotional strength deter physically stronger men out there just to take advantage?
Monika has been talking about this too but will signing petitions help?

I don’t have a solution but for starters I feel a woman is as safe as she thinks she is. Carry a pepper spray and learn some self protection arts.
We all want to live in a world which will not raise eyebrow on seeing a single female walking on the road late in the night all by herself. We all want to wear what we want without the fear of some mishap happening.
I don’t want to drag Aman with me every time I go to pick up something from the nearby grocery store just because it’s dark.

But sadly we don’t live in such a world and maybe I am being pessimist but I don’t think I ever will.

So this woman’s day I just don’t feel like wishing you “happy women’s day”

Some Clarification

2009-03-08T02:41:00.000+05:30

This post is needed after my previous post. I had some people call me to check if everything was fine, some other mailed and smsed. And a few left a comment. It was indeed very sweet of all of you.

I went back and re read my post and felt it was rather incomplete. Yes I am disturbed, have been so for the past few weeks and the reason is not directly related to me but to 2 people I am very fond of. Both of them have lost someone very close to them.
Unexpected to the extent of being malicious. That post was a mirror of what was going through my mind.

My prayers are with both of them. Nothing anyone says or do will ease their pain or lessen their loss.